Following on the heels of the new "lifetime immunity" doctrine for presidential advisers, sources report that former President Bush is huddling with aides in Dallas as he prepares to begin issuing new Executive Orders.
According to the former president's legal advisers, Karl Rove's refusal to testify before congress is merely an example of the inherent executive authority that Bush still possesses and will always possess.
"This is just the beginning," said one anonymous advisor. "Wait until you see the Executive Orders and signing statements he'll be issuing in the coming weeks."
"We are also suggesting that the media cease referring to Bush as the 'former President'," the aid continued. "Legally he's still President Bush, and, in fact, because he was elected prior to President Obama, his authority exceeds the current Commander-in-Chief. This is a basic constitutional principle."
Bush's first Executive Order of his post-White House presidential term will direct the military to expand the Guantanamo Bay detention facility. This may require annexing Cuban territory and President Bush has been discussing possible invasion scenarios with General Petraeus.
"Things are really cranking up in Dallas," a Bush confidante beamed. "Tomorrow, the president will attach a signing statement to the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. Unequal pay is a liberal myth and President Bush will not allow enforcement of the new law."
Additionally, a signing statement has been prepared that will convert any spending in Obama's stimulus package into tax cuts.
Vice President Cheney, now chief executive of the little-know fifth branch of government, could not be reached for comment. But he is expected to visit CIA Headquarters next week to help rectify "intelligence gaps" on Iranian nuclear ambitions.