(Diarist's note: Satire.)
Newly elected Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele plans an “off the hook” public relations offensive to attract younger voters, especially blacks and Hispanics, by applying the party's principles to “urban-suburban hip-hop settings.”
The RNC's first black chairman will “surprise everyone” when updating the party's image using the Internet and advertisements on radio, on television and in print, he told The Washington Times.
(source)
That surprise apparently includes overhauling some of the most popular rap songs in history to include Republican themes and policies.
What that constituent want, God?
Word up, look out for the tax increase (GOP five dollar tax rebate)
(Rebates rule) Word up, more tax cuts over here baby
Word up, more tax cuts here; those Democrats got tax hikes down the way, word up
KnowhatI'msayin?
To veteran rap fans, the above text, which a source familiar with GOP plans says begins the nascent party album "GOP 2K9," looks like a badly mangled open of Wu-Tang Clan's "C.R.E.A.M."
But curious Republicans, and anyone else who stumbles onto iTunes around August -- after all the tracks have been cut -- will be greeted by those words spoken by angry stockbrokers and young office executives as the beginning of "S.U.G.A.R.(T)" -- "Sure, U Go And Raise (Taxes)."
It's a song meant to emphasize the GOP's commitment to fiscal responsibility. And it's just one of 10 tracks Steele and a new rap group, the Sons of Responsibility, are planning to throw down in a Manhattan recording studio.
Among the tracks planned are:
- S.U.G.A.R.(T)
- A remake of Kool Moe Dee's hit "I Go To Work":
As I first start a church
For all the pastors and folks
And banish the sinners and jokes
who don't believe in our Lord
If they ain't got the faith
Put 'em in the left wing
Cause my right-hand man
Is my Bible, man, and
The Lord's word that I speak
Is my key to reap
what I seek from life, and that ain't cheap.
- G's and Jesus:
Going to Bible study with my concordance, meeting my G's and Jesus
Relaxed (with my mind on my sins and my sins on my mind)
- Fight For Your Right:
So you got caught voting GOP
And your friends tried to tell you "It's a party of the past."
You tried to tell them it's the party that will last
Unlike old-school politics in Chi city!
Rounding out the CD will be a striking take on Naughty By Nature's "OPP":
You down with GOP (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with GOP (Every last homie)
You down with GOP (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with GOP (All the homies)
Because the original song is about extramarital (and extrarelationship) intercourse, it remains to be seen how the GOP will be able to cash in on its popularity while not abandoning entirely its claim to family values -- a claim that itself has been battered in recent years due to the allegations of impropriety surrounding Louisiana Sen. David Vitter, former Sen. Larry Craig, former Reps. Mark Foley and Vito Fossella, and ex-pastor Ted Haggard.
Even less clear is if the Republican Party's versions of these songs will be sufficiently different from the originals that they will not have to secure the original rights from the artists.
This could be a problem because in the last few years, most recording artists have forbidden Republicans from using their songs in promotional materials or events. The GOP has responded to this so far by using the songs until the artist found out, then ceasing and desisting. But with such a clearly commercial venture in the works, the past practice of doing it until getting caught may end up hitting the party where it hurts: its image and its wallet.
Spokespeople for the artists and recording labels whose works are expected to be altered for the CD generally responded with incredulity at a party that has historically commanded such a small share of the black vote using decade-old anti-government, pro-drug songs to promote what had until recently been considered the law-and-order party.
One person at RCA, speaking on condition of anonymity because of possible licensing work in the future, said, "This is the stupidest thing I've sever seen, and I used to sell Edsels."
GOP representatives had no comment on the specifics of the CD, but noted in a release that "the proceeds from this CD will go to build the Republican Party back to the prominence it must be at for this to continue to be a center-right nation.
"Also," the release continued, "no money raised from the sales of this CD or its tracks will go to fund rescue efforts for the San Francisco salt marsh mouse, which is more than we can say for the spending bill recently passed -- over nationwide objections -- by the Democrat Party."
"All I have to say," Steele said, "is that if anyone at Daily Kos actually thinks this is legit, they really need to get their bullshit meters recalibrated."