Rogue Republican Stein steps in from the cold. Feels his way, leers, removes a jacket, swiftly turns on the home computer, gives the password and posts. Is this man a defector or a double agent? A dangerous mole or a harmless lunatic? People wonder, nobody can say with certainty.
Get a life and move on- would that be the best for all concerned? Me writing another diary again, for what? For more abuse? I need this? Yesssss. I’m back, I’m addicted; I’m nuts. But a mole? I wish- I wish I was a rich establishment Republican. Who’ll have me? You stoog...eh..budds? Please don’t stick me with pins, oh that hurts, the pain, stoppppp. Yes I try to provoke now; but only after my first few diaries fizzled. I’m a rogue here. I can do this and get away with it. There better be a method to this madness, or I’ll have nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide soon (...song titles rattling around my brain). p.s. My Oscar pick is buried below, a business offer too, as well as the endless (my) background repetition. That means this is another Stein grab bag.
The rain will bring the violets of May
Tears are in vain, so honey please don't be that way
As long as we see it through, you'll have me, I'll have you
Sweetheart, tomorrow is another day
Don't break my heart, oh honey, please don't be that way
...and a long diary this will be.
....Unfortunately some of the motivation for being on this site in the first place seems to have gotten lost in this and my other foolishness over the last month. A good outcome while there’s time left, would be for some reporter who’s heard about me through the grapevine; maybe as a result of this, to contact me, and we’d both go down to Mexico and meet the hero of this saga, my former Mexican house guest on his home turf. If not, I wouldn’t mind a nod of, eh, o.k. not bad, to my ideas for improving Mexican-American relations and trade. You know every expert is warning of imminent economic collapse down there. And you know what, we better hold on tight because maybe there’s an economic melt down right here, coming soon. So as for what I had to say about Mexico and the U.S, and what one hand washing the other might have meant; eh, I’ll recover. I gather some of you didn’t know I’ve been at this a long, long time before I swooped in here? You know I’m just thinking...what if? Yeah, what if there was an amnesty for the illegals and they could then qualify for mortgages, probably absorb some of that low end stuff on the market. What if Carlos Slim, that Mexican robber baron who now owns a nice chunk of the New York Times, what if he buys Citigroup....hmm. Snap out of it Gary! You’re a dreamer darling,and that’s not the focus of why you’re here today...... You’re mothers ghost stands at your shoulder, face like ice- a little bit colder, Saying to you- "you can not do that, it breaks all the rules, you learned in school".....
Like a certain beloved former politician from Illinois, (that could mean only one of two individuals), I also hoped to spread a message of "real change". Shmucko ran for congress. I should have instant cred. here. No it’s been mixed nuts. I’m a nobody now, and always will be, but did I fall into a treasure trove of insights into the underground world of illegal immigration! And I learned a lot about the country behind that 1500 mile and 15ft tall fence; the fence which I believe we need.
All this might seem a little strange, but what’s strange and what’s not anymore, and it’s Oscar night, let’s move on? I got a proposition. But...that's easier said then done. You, you and you, stop drooling, wipe away the dribble; you’re acting very strange yourselves. I can never pre-emptively stop the snickering can I? You’ll have your chance to critique at the end. I know how this works. This goofiness might grow on you. Think about it, some of you don’t know me yet, but the next time, maybe this won’t be so strange. Burp.
O.K., if everybody hasn’t fainted yet, may I pass along this outsiders observations? This is a great place, I mean that with all my heart, but unfortunately you’re only preaching to the choir here, with anonymous tags yet (I know it’s fun, and I could be Mr. Spaceman ) but this is a small group basically; and to what end is all this? I know the pat answer. Expand the base, fire yourselves up.... and get more Democrats elected! Here on this site? This way? I doubt many of you buy into that anymore. I learned my life’s lessons the hard way too.
I randomly checked around in the comment sections of different diaries, and 100% of you also had diaries of your own. Seems incestuous; that is unless you expand the perimeters of this operation! Writing expertly like you do, or poorly like....hmmmm... who? We’re all taken for granted, we’re ignored. Look at me, I’m spinning my wheels as usual, I’m kicking up dirt in the other party’s premier blog using my real name, but like you, to what end? After all my efforts- 15 months of charging windmills- when I’m three quarter’s crazy now, and there’s still nothing to show for my troubles, I can say my formula for change sucks too. What’s that, and why? Would you like to know how this all started in plain English? Harbored illegals! That’s right! Come get me coppers, "top of the world ma!" Bam, bam bam. My pals are back home now, the one mug, my right hand man, my hero, was the finest fugitive I ever met. Bam, bam, bam ...the police fire tear gas into the building... Jarrett is pursued to the top of a gigantic gas storage tank..... Take five and everybody calm down. This all feels like it was only yesterday. My vertigo is acting up
I have a proposition but I wish you wouldn’t keep pressuring me to be on point. Getting wrapped up in this illegal immigration experience has, HA! had a liberating effect obviously. When I was new at this I tried like a sap to share some of my insights with "journalists" two Novembers back when I bicycled up 6th Ave. and hit CBS, FOX, .....(You bastard reporter’s missing the boat, this guy, my friend has tried and failed 7 times to re-cross the border. He’s a very interesting and sophisticated guy, we’re 22 years difference in age, I’m the geezer, but he could be the padre and me the son. And he’s smart enough to know why we need the fence.)... Easy does it man.....back to that long day in Manhattan,... I finished chasing my tail at CNN, and NBC (scant appreciation of the Ice Rink, but a good place to use the bathroom facilities. Then without stopping at any museums or Starbucks, I turned the bike around and headed back to that secret place in Brooklyn where I parked my car for free, whoopee!!!) Drinking again, laadi da da, "oh yea, I’m drinking again, it’s always the same, that same old story, after the kicks..." I didn’t give up I tried one more time for the Gipper, at the PBS station in Philadelphia. I strike out more often then Mickey Mantle did. I struck out when I ran for congress (oh, I’m crazy all-right!). I was shut down. And I bug professors and reporters to this day, with endless e-mails which are getting progressively nuttier. And the Gods honest truth, I’ve gotten one or two lame hits. Now there’s a sanctuary here at the Kos in 2009, my winter camp, and it’s where I’m still looking for that one "inside the park" score. So here I am, mucking up your team for now. And a few of you think you’re going to scare me with witty criticisms of my writing? That’s funny!
Ten Hut! Stand straight, shoulders back. For those of you with an open mind I say let’s combine forces..... an all out assault on the elitists. Mix those metaphors and let’s stop playing like another winless bunch, the Detroit Lions. Where are you all running? See no leadership qualities. I don’t think I’ll ever run for political office again.
Gary’s Diary continued, "The $19 Hunch"
Paid an outrageous $19 for tickets and took my roommate, the wife, (decent health care would go a long way in fixing our 23 year marriage) to see Slum Dog Millionaire the other night. The "genius" behind that movie was on PBS’s Fresh Air last week and got me intrigued. .....I do and don’t get it. One, I didn’t like the movie, but more importantly two, my hunch was right. Poverty, as long as it’s on the wide screen and not in our backyard, plus a ludicrous premise, this game show non-sense, equals Best Picture of the Year? If that’s a potent combination for a blockbuster, boy do I have some of the same stuff to share in spades...............South of the border, down Mexico way, That’s where I fell in love when the stars came out to play, and now as I wander my thought ever stray, south of the border.....Is Ben Stiller’s agent out there? Can Ben can play the singing cowboy...eh...congressman.
Where do yours and my interest’s intersect? It’s coming. I contributed a few comments in a diary by a person calling himself Jotter, last week; he’s some type of bookkeeper. One person who answered me sums up a lot of what I’m hearing around here. I asked, "You do or don’t like me?" The splendid answer from someone (there’s no real names here) was "can't really say one way or the other. I tend to start out liking folks till they do something to make me change my mind. But at this point, I don't really know you yet. What there is a lot of on this site is silly harmless sarcasm. Challenge is bringing it off in a bland type face without tone, facial expression, or body language. This site is bad for your blood pressure, because you have to take pretty much everything with a grain of salt. The salt adds up, and before you know it, you're increasing your meds.
I also know there’s this angst out there as well because I’ve seen a comment or two like this in the past, "What!!! Let’s not hear about writing letters to the editor again" Someone else posts a diary, "mojo Friday, puppies edition," and there’s a challenge to overload the system with hits. To me that’s a mild form of civil disobedience.
So are you all mad as hell and ready to not take it anymore? Or are you going to continue to be the pawns of the likes of John Podesta (change.gov.com) and G***** Soros? Maybe my scheme has been thought of already, I wouldn’t know; or dismissed as naive or kooky, I wouldn’t care. With a nod to Monty Python then, "this is my theory, (and what it is too.")
While I’m convincing Ben Stiller he could play me in a comedy, you approach, say, Judith Reagan about publishing a book about the Kos. I personally like the riotous side show, the comments, which are like an outbreak of ebola, and originates from the business portion of the Kos, the diaries. The devastating put downs, and the quick retorts are the real beauty of this blog. About Judith Regan for those who don’t know...(This is fantasy folks. I’ve asked you twice now to relax). .. In 1987, Regan approached Simon & Schuster with an idea for a book, a study of the average American family, with Ozzie and Harriet as its centerpiece. The editor at Pocket Books did not want the book. The President of Pocket Books hired Regan to work for the company as a consultant, Editor at Large. She soon had a string of successes: Drew Barrymore's Little Girl Lost, Kathie Lee Gifford's I Can't Believe I Said That!, and celebrity autobiographies such as those of Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern. In doing so she contradicated the conventional wisdom of the somewhat staid New York publishing industry that there was a readership and marketplace for such works... In 2006, Regan announced that she would publish O.J. Simpson's book, If I Did It.
Ha, ha. Judith Reagan, that’s a laugh isn’t it, or is it? A delicious irony if you ran with it (hmmm, you know I’m thinking that I met a JR on the Kos once). Wouldn’t you, the Daily Kos, this kibbutz of kibitzing bloggers, like to get on the New York Times best seller list next to Anne Coulter latest drek? You wouldn’t. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Hello Gary,
Thank you for your interest in joining the Obama-Biden Administration. Within a few days, you will receive an email with a link to the more complete on-line application. Please be patient, as we are trying to respond promptly to the large number of people who are interested in working in the Administration.
Thanks. 11/12/08
I’m a liberated wise guy these days like I said before, and it’s definitely attributable to being that candidate for Congress last year. Walking around like a jerk with that signature petition is good for shedding a few inhibitions. See what’s above? I applied for work with the new President. I spent 10 minutes filling out a resume on line, (quite a bit longer writing this). Gave Beto, in Mexico, and my congressman of course- Frank LoBiondo, as references---and I’m certain, no-one blinked an eye. Love to know what the final tally of new hires off the internet was? Does anybody get it? They take us for granted.
If anybody is reading this, let’s get out of the anonymous zone, you come out of the cold like me ((all four of you (I never know)), use your real names in this (imaginary) book of mine. Get out from under this 2nd page second class citizens thing. Nominate your leader, do it right now live, it’s better then Friday’s spent commenting on puppies. Publish the best of the Kos and in six months you have a best seller. Does anybody understand? Any Ralph Cramden types like me thought of this before? The work is already there. Would it sell? You say "NO." Really? Does the world need another best seller by Shawn Hannity? I guess the answer is yes.
It could be the end of the Kos as you know it. The end of innocence. You’re best days are behind you anyway without G.W to kick around anymore. Who the hell knows about the Daily Kos anyway? Oh, I get it, that’s the way you like it. That’s crazy. I barely knew about the Kos, and what I did know was all wrong. I found out it’s really quite good; it’s hilarious. And we are never going to get our due. This might be a good time to take a cigarette break ...Little Anthony, "I’m on the outside looking in (ooh, ooh, ooh), An’ I wanna be, an’ I wanna be back on the inside wi-th you, you are somebody new and I don’t know what to do.... Take one last drag, O.K; all the lawyers who I know must be out there (?), (never posting with their real names of course, and that’s half the reason this might work, the before and after) tell me why it can’t be done? Get Mr. Soros’ permission. Anybody home? (There’s nobody out there so I’ll ask.) The rest of you, you better back me on this, it’s your stuff I’m holding up as clever. Please, don’t wait for the elitist 4th estate to ever give you your due.
All right I’ve come this far. I'll type in the tag "Zionist," skip the bloody boring diary, move down to comment section and what do I get? Bickering, blissful bickering. I even stimulated a very mild but funny comment on this subject from my diary a few weeks ago, "I Introduce Israel into my Hispanic Immigration Debate." Comment back: "Yes but the Daily Kos doesn’t care about Mexico." Expand it and there’s vvwala, the (always anonymous) nugget. "Who cares about what’s happening on our own border when two groups of people with an ancient grudge are killing each other on the far side of the planet and we get to argue about it!"
And the unusual pictures. Standard immaturity anywhere else but not here. That’s commercially viable, formatted in the coffee table edition. Oh the Republicans are going to hate me (make them hate me! I don't like operating in this vacuum.) Speaking of Israel, if I catch that phony, that Wahabist son of a bitch, piping in here now, like he did in my diary last week, (and a few days ago when I posted one lousy comment), I’m outing you and challenging you to a thumb wrestle. He called me names. I’m telling Bill O’Reilly. And Billo will make doubly sure this time around that Chris Dodd never speaks at any affair remotely connected with (us)the Kos again. Senator ignore O'Reily again, and don’t ever go back on his show. Of course the Senator if he ignores anybody, it’ll be me.
Is this strange Republican serious? On your mark get ready (Three schools of thought.) Mocking and derision of the ass (but forget the Republican ad hominem for once please. That’s not right, fire away, remember there's the book; and how embarrassing if nobody got this far), or two, appreciation i.e., "the nut job has a point" and then your witty sarcasms. Or three, the satire is getting better.
First Fast Forward
2011 and the winner is...........accepting the award for Gary Stein, producer, Best Picture 2010; Yokel Boy; is Mr. Stein’s ex-wife Alice Cramden-Stein. "Thank you Academy, thank you. You know even at his lowest ebb, even when his closest advisor, The Big Moose (a 32 lb cat) disparaged of him, the silly son of a bitch still knew one day. One day his message of hope... well it has come true in this strange way. I proudly accept this award on his behalf. As you all know he’s been hiding for the last two years from those Islamic wacko’s Tags:Fatwa....
(Meanwhile in another city), the publishing capital of the world, New York, N.Y., the winner of the 2010 Pulitzer prize award for best non-fiction is..., The Daily Kos-An Insiders Guide. Accepting the award on behalf of all the menchs of the Dalily Kos is ....... Rich from Pa.
I add and vote for number 3, just now as I’m posting I see there was less then five comments on yesterdays diary. Shhhhhhhheet! What an excellent MY SPACE.
Hey, mr. spaceman
Won't you please take me along
I won't do anything wrong
Hey, mr. spaceman
Won't you please take me along for a ride
Woke up this morning, I was feeling quite weird
Had flies in my beard, my toothpaste was smeared
Over my window, they'd written my name
Said, so long, we'll see you again The Byrds
You are afraid--embarrassed too
No one has ever said such a thing to you
Your mother's ghost stands at your shoulder
Face like ice--a little bit colder
Saying to you--"you can not do that, it breaks
All the rules you learned in school"
I don't really see
Why can't we go on as three
We love each other--it's plain to see
There's just one answer that comes to me
--Sister--lovers--water brothers
And in time--maybe others
So you see--what we can do--is to try something new--
If you're crazy too--
Jefferson Airplane around 1967 , written by David Crosby.
Now Andy, did you hear about this one?
Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Andy, are you goofing on Elvis?
Hey baby, are we losing touch?
If you believed they put a man on the moon
Man on the moon
If you believed there's nothing up their sleeve
Then nothing is cool
Moses went walking with the staff of wood
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Newton got beaned by the apple good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Egypt was troubled by the horrible asp
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Mr. Charles Darwin had the gall to ask
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Here's a little agit for the never-believer
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ......