It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day to be a Republican, will you be one..please?
Hello boys and girls. Tonight we are here to celebrate the fact that an African American was elected President of the United States.
This is the president I hope to defeat in 2012.
Can you say Piyush? I knew you could.
What a great country. In America, we learn that we can do anything.
Our last Republican president tapped our phone lines, started an unnecessary war, ran the economy into the toilet, and endorsed the giveaway of over 300 billion dollars of taxpayer monies to corrupt bankers. Still, that president faces no criminal charges or investigations. He truly could do anything. Isn't that amazing boys and girls? Wouldn't you like to do fun things like that too? I knew you did.
We have a fun show planned for today, boys and girls. Today we are going to learn about the bad, bad, government.
Then, we will learn about good, good, corporations.
First, we know that Government is a place where your money gets spent, boys and girls.
Big bad Democrats in Congress spend and spend until all of the taxpayer's money is gone.
They will tell you that the money is for magic trains that float on air, but really the money goes to mean union bosses who tell employers what to do.
That would mean that your daddy would lose his job. Wouldn't that be bad, boys and girls? You bet it would be.
Now let's learn about the wonderful good corporations, boys and girls.
Corporations are where all good things come from. The Wal-Mart store where your mommy buys you toys is a good good corporation. That's where your mommy buys your Super Corn Syrup Flakes. Aren't they good?
A corporation also makes those little pills that your mom and dad give you so that you calm down and sit in front of your television and watch my show instead of doing something silly like playing outside.
When I am president, boys and girls, I will get rid of the bad, bad, government.
Instead, I will give power to the very good corporations in America.
In fact, when I am president, the good corporations will be in charge of everything again.
Can you say fascism? I knew you could.
Have a nice day, boys and girls. Don't forget to tune it tomorrow to Governor Jindal's neigborhood, where we will learn about the best corporations, the oil companies and the health insurance companies.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neigborhood.....