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These are the names that the Republican kingmakers believed would, by this time, have Democrats cowering in fear.

Palin.  Steele.  Jindal.

These are the people on whom the GOP has staked its future.

Sarah Palin.

Wife of an avowed secessionist.  Abstinence-only mom of an unwed teenage mother.  Book banning enthusiast.  Shopaholic.  Nation's leading fully-dilated airline passenger.  Shoots cute furry things with machine guns from helicopters.  Wishes she could shoot community organizers with machine guns from helicopters.

Michael Steele.

Imaginary target of Oreo attacks.  Progenitor of "Drill Baby Drill," best known as laughline from Nailin' Palin.  Now off da hook and straight thuggin' as he remakes the party for, you know, the kids.  Goin' 120, plowin' over mailboxes (radar detectors to show him where da cops is).

Bobby Jindal.

Boy Wonder.  Rhodes Scholar.  Exorcist.  Governor of one of the country's poorest, uneducated, underemployed, and besieged states, who rejects federal assistance for his most needy constituents for reasons that can only be described as purely political.  Rape and incest?  No abortion for you.  Did I mention he's an exorcist?

As Barack Obama once said, "You can't make this stuff up."

As best as I can discern, each of these stooges represent some sort of response to the Obama phenomenon.  And while I can't blame Republicans for reacting to the Obama phenomenon, watching them try is both sidesplittingly funny and mind-numbingly sad.  It evidences either a shockingly thorough ignorance or a deliberate denial of Obama's appeal.  

Is it possible that they actually believe that [youth + melanin = instant majority]?  Have they yet to realize that yes, in fact, voters do attribute our present miseries to policies that their party has not only failed to repudiate, but has doubled down on instead?

I hope it takes them a long, long time to get it.

The more they obstruct, the longer will be their wandering.

Palin.  Steele.  Jindal.

All Hail the Trifecta of Fail!

Originally posted to The Termite on Wed Feb 25, 2009 at 12:58 PM PST.


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