Skip to main content

I have nothing new to say. On the jobs front, I'm plugging along trying to make things work. To stave off insanity, I wrote about what I had for lunch today.

Here are the results:

Lunch today was a handful of Jolly Ranchers. Now, Jolly Ranchers are just one of the many food/candy companies that offer a flavor known as "blue raspberry." There's also blue raspberry Charms blow pops, Tootsie Roll pops, ICEEs, Dum-Dums, candy canes and Jell-O shots.

This has to be a phony flavor. Who ever saw a blue raspberry in nature? In fact, as George Carlin points out, there are no blue foods period. Blueberries? Fuck 'em. Those are purple.

But why blue raspberries? How did this happen? Upon what meat does this, our blue raspberry, feed?

I think the larger color palette of candies is to blame. That apocryphal matching together of fake fruits and fake flavors spawned by the candy-industrial complex after decades of churning out sugary products to shove into our country's collective snack-hungry maw.

To begin with, red is too confused and crowded as it is to give red to raspberries. Cherry and strawberry have taken red right out, and they get preferrential treatment in the heirarchy of artificial fruit flavors and colors because everybody loves them.

Starburst candy dodges this quite deftly by making their strawberry chews pink -- which strawberries are not, but it's close enough. And strangely, Starburst dodges the raspberry issue as well by simply not having raspberry candies at all. This makes them either geniuses or cowards.

Confusing the issue further, some downright gutless food companies attempt to sidestep the issue of what to do with raspberry by combining them with blueberry, blackberry and strawberry flavors to create that fatherless bastard of food flavors, "mixed berry," that scourge of yogurts and concealer of the chalkiness of stomach acid palliatives. Colors there range from a soulless purple to a defeated pale blue.

None of these stopgaps address the issue that refuses to go away -- what to do with the fucking raspberries. Blackberries have a similar taste, but nobody's going to eat any black candy, brain-damaged licorice lovers notwithstanding. And grape already had divine right to the color purple. You have to make grape purple, because green (which grapes can be) is taken up by apples (which could not be red because of strawberries and cherries).

So the only solution? Call the raspberries a color they are not -- blue -- and be done with it.

And why not? You've created something that nobody has ever seen before and is therefore, from a marketing perspective, exotic. A blue raspberry! Ever seen one outside of a fever dream scenario? Of course you haven't.

This was a good idea for the first person who came up with making the raspberry blue, but it's a little ridiculous to repeat the blue raspberry thing over and over again across the food industry. What worked well once now just seems silly. Because after all, there's no such thing as a blue raspberry.

Originally posted to droogie6655321 on Mon Mar 02, 2009 at 12:39 PM PST.

Poll

Blue raspberry

42%65 votes
32%50 votes
24%38 votes

| 153 votes | Vote | Results

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site