Last night I raged, tonight I am here to laugh.
I am still unemployed, I am still reading everything, but the rage has subsided, and now I am left with the only thing that keeps me sane, my sense of humor.
Mark Twain said it best...
Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them--and by laughing at them destroy them? For your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon--laughter. Power, Money, Persuasion, Supplication, Persecution--these can lift at a colossal humbug,--push it a little-- crowd it a little--weaken it a little, century by century: but only Laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of Laughter nothing can stand.
- The Chronicle of Young Satan, Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts
So tonight I want to laugh. Share with me your favorite things to laugh about. Provide me clips of comedians, funny shows, quotes that crack you up. Tell me who your favorite comedians are. Your favorite funny movie. Tell me a joke.
I am am off the ledge, the CEOs of the world are safe for another day. My rifle is back in the closet.
My Mt Rushmore of comedians is as follows: George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks, and Mark Twain. My apologies to Lenny Bruce and the others left off the list, but these four always cracked me up.
Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man...living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. Carlin.
"I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries, then we go and blow the shit out of them. We're like the bullies of the world, y'know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet.
"Pick it up."
"I don't wanna pick it up, Mister, you'll shoot me."
"Pick up the gun."
"Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister."
"Pick up the gun."
(He picks it up. Three shots ring out.)
"You all saw him - he had a gun." Bill Hicks.
Richard Pryor On Reagan
* I went to the White House, met the president... We in trouble.
* Muthafucka looked at me like I owed him money.
* See, he'd been to the University of UCLA (sic). He hadn't been down to the U of Miss of Alabama. Cuz they got white folks down there that scare white folks. They have to keep them motherfuckers on a leash. Muthufuckin in a basement and shit.
History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise.
- New York Herald, 8/26/1876 Mark Twain.
Make me laugh, mother fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!