NY Times columnist, "Heather" and dilletante extraordinaire Maureen Dowd (MoDo) has unsurprisingly decided to yet again exploit a situation that she knows and cares nothing about (which is pretty much everything that doesn't have to do with cocktail parties and stained blue dresses) in order to score what she views as cheap political points against those boring people who actually do something for a living and perhaps might even want to make the world better, in this case Obama and Democrats in trying to pass last year's spending bill that's being debated in congress this week.
Her departure point this time is all the alleged "pork" that's in the bill, which appears to trouble her. After all, noted economic expert John McCain said so, thus it must be true. This supposed pork has been widely discussed as being 40% Republican, so I won't get into the politics of this. But it's worth going over a few of the spending earmarks that she seems to have such a problem with.
She starts with her usual bad attempt at wit:
Stage of Fools
By MAUREEN DOWD
Published: March 3, 2009
If only Shakespeare had known how to Twitter.
There was a bit of King Lear in the scene on the Senate floor, a stormy, solitary John McCain on "this great stage of fools," as the Bard wrote, railing against both parties and the president in fiery speeches and rapid-fire tweets.
"He’s mad that trusts in the tameness of a wolf, a horse’s health, a boy’s love, or a whore’s oath," the Fool told Lear.
Ookay, whatever, Bard Lady.
She then gets to all those horribly wasteful porcine earmarks:
• $2.1 million for the Center for Grape Genetics in New York. "quick peel me a grape," McCain twittered.
New York state has a major grape and wine industry and I'm guessing that this is for disease research and control.
• $1.7 million for a honey bee factory in Weslaco, Tex.
Um, bees are disappearing, Maureen. Do you literally never read your own paper?
• $1.7 million for pig odor research in Iowa.
Hog farm waste is a huge environmental problem in the midwest.
• $1 million for Mormon cricket control in Utah. "Is that the species of cricket or a game played by the brits?" McCain tweeted.
Oh how precious. Ever heard of insect infestation, Maureen?
• $819,000 for catfish genetics research in Alabama.
Because catfish are known to be disease-resistant, being bottom feeders and all.
• $200,000 for a tattoo removal violence outreach program to help gang members or others shed visible signs of their past. "REALLY?" McCain twittered.
Many gangs force their members to get prominent tattoos, so it makes sense that as part of a former gang member rehabilitation program, they'd be able to get their gang tattoos removed. Or are you fond of cabana boys with MS-13 tattooed on their knuckles, Maureen?
• $209,000 to improve blueberry production and efficiency in Georgia.
Again, crop protection. Agriculture, food, jobs, protection--see a connection here, Maureen?
I'm noticing a pattern here. She appears to have some sort of problem with industries not directly related to fashion and gossip. Carrie Bradshaw posing as a political columnist. Ech.
What an incredibly unappealing person. How does she live with all the obvious self-loathing?
What a troll.