We're onto you.
And we're onto the corporate dirtbags who are trying to make you into their private band of orcs.
The distracting, divisive, terrorizing shit you're looking to pull?
We won't let you.
Two months into the new administration, and already Chuck Norris tries to con us into believing there are "thousands" of right wing "cells" prepared for a "Second American Revolution" against the Obama administration. He threatens to run for "President of Texas" (perhaps because the last time "Texas" met "President," everything went so well).
We get it.
Democracy just doesn't sit well with some people.
.
It's not just washed-up, infomercializing Chucky. He needs to promote his B-class movie by whipping up the David Duke crowd, because that's about the only audience he can get traction with anymore.
We get it.
It's also the GOP who got emasculated in the last election. They can't properly recover their political cajones with a Viagra-popping, swollen pilonidal cyst as their spokesperson. They need a new face of the party that's less Kenneth-the-Page meets tanned Gomer Pyle than Bobby Jindal, less clown-creepy than Coulter, less stupid than Palin or Joe the non-Plumber, less foreign-sounding and chummy with the liberals than Arnold and less, well--hip-hop--than Michael Steele.
We get it.
The mega-corporate empires, their CEO's, and their bitches in Congress that have thrived on the laissez-faire cronyism and imperial wars of the past decade have a steep task ahead of them. First, lest poverty-stricken and now-homeless mobs with torches and pitchforks show up at their doors, they need to deflect the blame. If they need to lie, mutilate science, gin up social scapegoats, or call up the Rapture, that's what they need to do.
Second, they need to block the kind of "change" that will mean an end to tax breaks for outsourcing and offshoring, and end to the official blind eye to illegal corporate insourcing as a way to drive down wages and skirt labor laws, the end of tax breaks for carbon polluters, the end of sweet deals for Big Pharma and Big Ag, the end of crookery from health insurance companies, and the end of no-bid contracts or billions of dollars to "defense" or "telecom" shell companies run by political cronies.
We get it.
These Shock Doctrine NeoCons excel at nothing more than generating fear and chaos. They promote terror because it's an atmosphere in which they operate best. In chaos they can steal and plunder. In fear they can whip up a paramilitary-led, Pinochet-style junta or institute a police-state reign. In economic desperation they can push for all of a nation's assets to be sold off to foreign owners and its vital services privatized. They can outsource to shell companies. They can deplete the Treasury. They can take advantage of illegal drug and arms-running. They can game the market so as to make a killing on the way up and on the way down.
They've perfected this dance all around the world: in Chile, in Argentina, in Indonesia, in Russia, in Poland, in South Korea, in Colombia, in Central America, in China, and of course, in Iraq. We've seen the opening acts in this country in the aftermath of 9/11 and Katrina--crony-driven privatization, the disappearance of civil liberties and the squandering of public money and resources, the empowering of criminal paramilitaries (CACI, Blackwater, Triton, etc).
Fortunately for the megacorps, they own much of the commercial media, either directly or indirectly. They can dictate a message from on high, or they can spend hundreds of millions buying their favorite shills.
We get it.
We understand that these opportunistic, egomaniacal, Machiavellian shills can't target informed people. Or educated people. Or organized people. Or minorities. Or people with a social conscience. Or people who work in the public sector. All these groups are typically too skeptical and independent or concerned about the quality and workings of government to fall for a blanket con job.
But racists, sexists, xenophobes and homophobes..the uneducated..the boundlessly greedy..the ultra-religious..the disaffected and "bitter" folk whose jobs left for Mexico or China but they're not sure why..the blind followers who love nothing more than an authoritarian Daddy figure.. There must be a good.. 20% of such folk out there!
What better material for an Uruk-hai-style domestic paramilitia?
We get it.
But guess what? This time around, you "Constitution-defendin'" militia types have no credibility AT ALL.
That's right, Brides of Chucky. You've been exposed for the empty cowards that you are.
In the Clinton years, some of us had a kind of grudging respect for the survivalists, the Y2K-ers, the small armed groups claiming to defend free peoples against the intrusions of the government (and really, Clinton's anti-drug and anti-child porn policies led to some pretty draconian measures).
That is, until these ghouls applauded the terrorists who "defended our freedoms" by blowing up the children's section of the Oklahoma City federal building.
That is, until these "true believers" vanished like rats into a dark alley when the GOP Supremes subverted the Constitution and "appointed" W after a massively tampered-with election.
No, not a peep was heard from these "patriots" when W's government was warrantlessly spying on Americans, kidnapping and holding Americans indefinitely without charge or trial, torturing American citizens, refusing to investigate domestic military anthrax attacks on liberals, outing CIA agents, creating massive "terrorist watch" and "no-fly" lists, harassing and detaining reporters and demonstrators, giving hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to criminal paramilitary and shell corporations, playing air guitar while people drowned, removing sanctions against corporations that outsourced jobs and illegally insourced workers to skirt labor laws, and inviting K-Street (er, I mean Wall Street) to plunder what was left of our national treasury. No complaints from these pretenders when our ports were sold to Dubai, or when Halliburton was contracted to build detention camps on our own soil, or when the actual military was used as grounds for forced evangelical recruiting.
Incommunicado for eight years (unless it was these same guys demanding the extraordinary rendition of war protesters and people who dared speak out against the abuses of Bush's dictatorship), now they're back.
Now they want to to save us from the tyranny of Obama, the guy who is desperately putting the paddles to our economic chest, quickly investing in our crumbling infrastructure and collapsing education and health care systems. They want to "save" us from a leader that, for once, was clearly and fairly elected by a solid majority.
Well, listen up, "freedom fighters." You are pathetic frauds, and we're sick of your shit. No, we won't be provoked into an over-reaction so your neocon string-pullers can have their insurrection. We won't be terrorized into paranoia-driven civil war. We trust that most people are much saner than you.
But we won't be pushed around, either. Threaten us, threaten our country with domestic terrorism, threaten our president or his family, incite riots or mutiny, and we'll help the cops and army usher you to your incarceration. The only "cells" you're going to enjoy will be densely padded.
We as a nation want to come together to heal and solve problems. You want to sow discord and spread panic.
We won't let you.