Hey there. My name is Karateexplosions. I haven't posted for a couple of weeks, but you probably remember me -- What? You don't have any idea who I am?
Damn. Well maybe THIS will refresh your memory!
Yes, I am the guy who crudely draws pictures of cats in MS Paint.
Today I got a disturbing email from a HEROIC Loyal Scotty Show Reader. At great personal risk to his own safety, Blue Intrigue managed to get out a message from deep in the heart of PUMA insanity. It appears that there is a crazy-ass whacked out psycho PUMA chick who has created herself a little Wordpress blog. And that blog features the following as a banner:
As you might be able to discern, the likeness is uncanny. I immediately gathered my staff and composed the following letter, which I shall reproduce for you in its entirety.
Dear Proprietor of Shitty Wordpress Blog Whiney-Ass PUMA Crybaby Website,
It has come to my attention that you have made an unauthorized use of my copyrighted work entitled "Picture of a Cat Crudely Drawn in MS Paint #372, Black Pixels on White Pixel Canvass." I have reserved all rights in the Work, which was first published on DailyKos, and I have registered the copyright.
Your work entitled "Shitty Banner for Shitty Wordpress Blog Whiney-Ass PUMA Crybaby Website" and which appears on your shitty web site, clearly used "Picture of a Cat Crudely Drawn in MS Paint #372, Black Pixels on White Pixel Canvass" as its basis. My MS Paint forensic pixel analysts have conducted numerous forensic analyses and have determined that your dumb ass was too lazy to crudely draw your own cat in MS Paint, and instead directly copied and pasted "Picture of a Cat Crudely Drawn in MS Paint #372, Black Pixels on White Pixel Canvass."
Several thoughtful and intelligent individuals have asked for permission to use and reproduce various versions of my Cats Crudely Drawn in MS Paint series, and in every instance I have granted permission to them. However, a quick perusal of your shitty Wordpress blog indicates to me that you are neither thoughtful nor intelligent, and would absolutely not have been granted such permission. I can, however, only marvel at the many copyright warnings you have plastered all over your website, even as you infringe upon the copyrights of others. Adding to the irony is the warning you have embedded right in "Shitty Banner for Shitty Wordpress Blog Whiney-Ass PUMA Crybaby Website" the following warning: "Copyright 2009 Uppity Woman. All rights reserved. All materials contained on this site are protected by copyright law and may not be reproduced without permission. Got it?" Well, did you?
Of course, you neither asked for nor received permission to use "Picture of a Cat Crudely Drawn in MS Paint #372, Black Pixels on White Pixel Canvass" as the basis for "Shitty Banner for Shitty Wordpress Blog Whiney-Ass PUMA Crybaby Website" nor to make or distribute copies of it. Therefore, I believe you have willfully infringed my rights under 17 USC Section 101, et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages as high as $100,000. This sum would be the highest amount of money ever paid for any living creature crudely drawn in MS Paint, even beating out the $15,000 once pledged for a picture of a spider crudely drawn in MS Paint:
I demand that you immediately cease the use and distribution of all infringing works derived from the Work, and all copies of it, and that you desist from this or any other infringement of my rights in the future. If I have not received an affirmative response from you by 31 March 2009 indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, I shall consider taking the full legal remedies available to rectify this situation. Let there be no doubt that there are plenty of bored liberal copyright trial lawyers just itching for something fun to do, and this might just fit the bill.
PS Here is a picture of a cat protected by copyright law.