With Cuban troops surrounding Camp X-Ray, a red faced State Department was forced to hold a press conference to admit that their most recent communications efforts with the Cuban government may have left a few things lost in translation.
"Yes, we did advocate that the Cuban government take action immediately to release political prisoners," said a stuttering spokesperson for State, "but who could have foreseen they would think that we were authorizing them to release OUR prisioners?" he finished.
Apparently the Cuban troops, who have secretly been preparing to infuse chants of "Change you can believe in" with a latin beat and some nifty hip moves, were willing to take the Obama administration at face value when the State Dept:
... on Wednesday urged Cuba to free political prisoners immediately and to improve human rights on the communist-ruled island.
However, when Cuban troops, bearing banners displaying Shepard Fairey's representation of Obama and waving American flags, surrounded GITMO and presented its commanding officer with a copy of the US directives, it seemed likely that a mistake had been made somewhere.
Luckily, Attorney General Eric Holder was available via satellite to attempt to sort things out. Perusing the State Dept communication, which referred to
...75 journalists, human rights monitors, librarians and others were sentenced to jail terms ranging from 14 to 30 years for their "nonviolent advocacy" of political, social, and economic reforms
the AG was able to immediately spot the error.
While the Cuban forces initially remained unconvinced by Holder's explanation, further input from from US and Cuban translators revealed that, indeed, the phrase "jail terms ranging from 14 to 30 years" had been incorrectly translated as "detention forever at the whim of the US President." Tensions eased further when Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov was conferenced in on the call and he retold his reset/overcharge" story.
After the Russian reassurance, a good laugh was had by all and the Cuban troops withdrew, but not before first exchanging cigars and torture tricks with their American counterparts.
/s