No, I'm not talking about the guy from Texas who used to live at 1600 Penn. He's gone back to Texas and will hopefully stay away from the entire East Coast in the future.
I'm talking about this:
New Jersey is drawing the line when it comes to bikini waxing. The state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling is moving toward a ban on genital waxing after two women reported being injured in their quest for a smooth bikini line.
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Technically, genital waxing has never been allowed — only the face, neck, abdomen, legs and arms are permitted — but because bare-it-all "Brazilians" weren't specifically banned, state regulators haven't enforced the law.
Yes, yes, I know, but I seriously found it under the "New Jersey" heading on my Google News page. I do not have a heading that finds these stories, I swear.
This plan understandably got some people pretty angry.
As the New York Post put it:
But New Jersey spa owners say officials have no business legislating what women do with their Pine Barrens.
"Our customers have never had any problems - all this is going to do is send our customers across the river to New York," said Kathleen Ho, owner of the Spa at Port Liberte in Jersey City.
Brazilians account for 85 percent of all bikini waxes, said Rita Gitelman, owner of La Femme in Hoboken.
I'd like to note that the "Spa at Port Liberte" owner has a very, very unfortunate last name.
Anyway, one spa owner, Jaira Lima was so angry that she put together this Brazilian Bikini Wax advocacy website.
The site is humorous enough on its own to be worth quoting verbatim.
Among Americans the "Brazilian Bikini Wax" has become known for the full removal of the pubic hair in hopes of satisfying its mate. A sexual fantasy lets call it and one by one they arrive at the Salon asking for Brazilian Bikini Wax. Now let it be known that in Brazil this is not the common case.
The best part about the whole controversy is that it's caused right-wing blowhards to start pontificating about how important women's rights are.
Take Rush Limbaugh, for instance (I suggest you bring a forklift or else you may not be able to move him ...)
The government has no business in women's crotches.
Of course, neither does Mr. Limbaugh. However, it's nice that he's finally embraced the "feminazis" on the issue of women's privacy rights. Props, Mr. Limbaugh. (I won't shake your hand, though; I don't even want to think about what it's been waxing ... too late)
However, there's a happy ending to this story. Like in America as a whole, the "anti-Bush" forces have won.
For now, the ban has been put on hold
Consumer Affairs Director David Szuchman, reacting to disgruntled salon and spa owners, may have rescued genital waxing by rejecting Friday a state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling proposal to ban the painful procedure.
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A fax campaign was started to inform the New Jersey Attorney General's Office that Brazilian waxes could be done safely with the proper training.
The state apparently listened.
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"Many commenters have noted that the procedure can be safely performed," Szuchman wrote. "I therefore believe that there are alternate means to address any public health issues identified by the board."