I wrote this comment in Dartagnan's diary on foodstamps and Republican persecution of the poor:
The worst part is that they rope their victims into believing it by promising them that if they hate the right people, and vote for the right people, and believe in the right religion that on a distant someday things will get better.
I have a friend in Flint, MI who gets about $300 a month in food stamps. She thinks she's a loser and doesn't deserve the help because she doesn't have to pay rent and her parents help out with baby expenses. Of course, she also thinks it's her fault that she couldn't hold her marriage together with a man who cheated on her with two different women while she was pregnant.
I can understand millionaires that vote Republican. It's in their best interest. But people like this young woman (who is going to lose her second job to lack of transportation) just boggle me.
It was suggested that this should be its own diary. This is my first, so wish me luck!
I've been lucky in life. I was raised in a union household. The moral value of hard work was always paired with the lesson that your work is valuable, and that to sell it for less than its value is a crime. Mind you, it's a lousy thing to do to yourself, but the crime is against all the other workers that you undercut in the act of failing to value yourself. I was taught that a living wage for every person was the goal of all workers. I learned that you take your break whether you need it or not. People died to bring you that 15 minutes and a cup of coffee. Respect what they did, and honor and protect it, unless you want to see it taken from you.
Having learned these things, I went into the working world. I had experiences with both the IBEW and the IATSE. Although I chose not to continue in that career path, those experiences marked the first time that I realized how complicated and sinister the politics of hate could be. How could these guys belong to the union, support the union, get benefits from the union . . . and vote for union-busting politicians? The real question, of course, is what does this have to do with a 24 year old pharmacy technician and food stamps?
I met my friend (we'll call her Joy) while playing World of Warcraft. She lives south-east of Flint, MI. She has a two year old child. She works two jobs, one as a pharmacy tech, the other as a medical assistant. Her ex-husband doesn't pay child support because he works under the table to avoid wage garnishment. Last month her car broke down. Fixing it is currently out of the question. Her mother gives her a ride to her second job, but that will end next month.
Joy lives with her parents to cut down on her expenses. Her brother, his wife, and his daughter also live there. Five adults and two children share a modest three bedroom house and a single vehicle. I'm not sure what other assistance she may receive, but she recently mentioned that she gets $300 a month in food stamps to make the point that people are getting them that don't deserve them.
Let that sink in. She thinks that despite struggling to meet her expenses, even with no rent payment, she doesn't deserve food stamps for herself and her child.
Because she lives in a multi-family house, the groceries she buys with her assistance card are available to all members of the household. She thinks this is cheating the food stamp program. The other family members also buy food that is available to her, but Joy doesn't consider this as repayment to the program she believes is being scammed. When questioned further, she made it clear that unless she was homeless and in immediate danger of starving, she did not deserve government assistance. Why? Any deprivation and discomfort she and her child endure are her fault for not working harder.
Joy doesn't believe in what she calls "making excuses for myself." She'll tell you it was her choice to be a single mother, because she couldn't keep her marriage together. He cheated on her when she was pregnant, continued after the baby was born, and introduced her to his pregnant girlfriend just before the baby's first birthday. If she had made a better choice of husband, she reasons, she would not have faced this situation. If she had dealt with their relationship issues earlier and better, he would not have cheated. In the end, she willingly takes the blame for both her relationships and her economic situation, because not doing so is proof that she is a lazy, shirking loser who doesn't deserve a chance to help herself much less the help of other people.
This is the lie that ties Joy to those electricians:
People who have benefited materially are morally superior. If you do not support them, you are morally inferior and will never benefit materially.
The Republican party has turned the virtuous ethic of hard work into a stick to beat the poor with using this secular version of the Doctrine of Prosperity. If you want a seat at the feast you must curtsy to your betters. It's their country and if you can't play by their rules, it's not their fault. The fault is yours. It's the only theme I've seen in 15 years in the work force that ties every member of the Republican working poor together. It also explains much of the politics of hate.
No one hates themselves on purpose. It's not a comfortable feeling. It's really awful to feel that liking yourself and valuing yourself would be a major moral failing, to the point where you'd hate yourself all over again . . . for liking yourself. There's a bit of a Catch 22 there, or to put it another way, you cannot win for losing. It helps if you can find someone to feel even worse about. Joy can point to drug users, homeless people, prostitutes, and homosexuals and say "At least I'm not THAT guy."
We work so hard to show Joy and her spiritual brethern that even "THAT guy" deserves a minimum of care, compassion, support and brotherly love. It's easy to think of her as the enemy. But if we do that, we lose sight of the fact that she already sees herself as the enemy. Our hate and dislike makes her angry, because she knows that she doesn't deserve it and feels like we're right to hate her. After all, she already despises herself for not being better, successful, and rich. Today I will tell Joy how much I respect her for taking the help her daughter needs, whether she deserves it or not. She doesn't have to be "THAT guy"; I love her too.