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Editor's Note: This is a MOTHERSHIP DIARY. I will provide links to Kossack volunteer coverage of Balls-in-Mouthapalooza '09 as the day thrusts onward. Please don't clog up the diary with lots of video or pictures. We want this mother to remain useful to your brother and sister Kossacks. And do wipe your feet.

Please do REC THIS DIARY so it can be seen and its links used as we snicker at our across-the-aisle friends in the now-official Ol' Teabag Party. Don't rec the baby-ship diaries. Just this one. Thanks. --- Your Droog and Humble Narrator

You know how to teabag, don't you? You just need teabags and a willing mug.

I had so many titles picked out for this diary. "Teabags Leave Bitter Taste in Wingnut Mouths," "Don't Teabag Me, Bro," "Jackie Treehorn Presents: Teabaggin,'" "Teabagging: The Word on Everyone's Lips"

There are just so many teabags to suck.

There are many striking things about a bunch of self-entitled white men, crouching down together, waving bags of dried leaves in the air as they whine vaguely about losing the country they've been in firm control of for eight long years. Not the least of which is the fact that they decided to call themselves "teabaggers."

Hey, I've made the same mistake.

I'll get to talking with a new person, never catching their name. Then before long I've been speaking with them for a month and it's way too late to ask what their name is. I think that's the mess the conservatives are in with the term "teabagging." It's too late to admit they didn't know what it meant now.

As many have pointed out, the Teabagger's main fault isn't their ignorance of sexual euphemisms, but their total lack of any new ideas. Just try talking to one of them and you'll see.

So, how are you? Tax cuts! What was that? Tax cuts! OK, well, my name is droogie. Tax cuts! What's yours? Tax cuts! I'm going to go over there now, where you aren't. Tax cuts! Great talking to you. Bye. Tax cuts!

Come on, Teabaggers. Give us something we can really sink our teeth into.

Of course, I don't want to overlook their Obama derangement and black helicopter paranoia. They want to see his birth certificate. They think he's a Reptile Person. Or the anti-christ. Or a socialist muslin. He's the president of the United States! It's gotten to the point where even other conservatives have called them out on how silly they look when they say stuff like this.

Then there's the idea that they have the sack to compare themselves to real patriots from Revolutionary days who put their money where their mouth was and risked their lives to protest taxation that really was unfair. Now that took some serious sack.

They didn't have a chance to back a nominee or participate in an election like the one we just had. They had a real reason to complain, and complain they did -- in the face of potentially dire consequences. They're willing to teabag, but wouldn't take musketballs to the face, I'd wager. The only consequences these Teabaggers face is having to ask the morning off from work.

If they don't like paying taxes, maybe they should have got behind someone elected who promised to cut the taxes of the vast majority of Americans. Whoops! They had that chance, and sucked up to other guy.

Many of these same people have already received tax cuts in their paychecks! I know I have. And yet it's still: Rabble! Rabble-rabble!  Somebody get a harumph outta this guy! Zombie Reagan would be spinning in his grave, if he were still in it.

Disregarding the fact that conservatives who got their taxes cut should have nothing to complain about, if they still feel butthurt about it, there's always peaceful protest -- and that's ostensibly what they're doing. Sure, they've always been against protesting a sitting president, but we'll overlook that. You can always hit the streets and firmly and clearly state your case, spelling out exactly what you want from your government.

Or you could wave teabags in the air. Hey, it's a free country. If you think that sends a powerful message, waving tea, then go right ahead. But I have to be forthcoming with you -- you're blowing it. This could explode all over your face.

Instead of spelling out new ideas, you've got Glenn Beck out there hawking old discredited John Birch literature, promising the arrival of fascism (or communism, depending on the day), and generally sobbing like a kid whose ice cream fell in the dirt. He likes to talk about pitchforks and torches, refusing to take responsibility for it when his listeners go too far after hearing his inflammatory, hyperbolic diatribes.

So today we're convened to give these Teabaggers one more chance. We'll see if they present an actionable set of fresh ideas that they'd like to see Congress and the Obama administration adopt, or whether they'd rather listen to Glenn Beck sob publicly and hear Chuck Norris threaten mutiny against the government. The choice is yours, Teabaggers. Make us proud.

Jokes aside, there is an undercurrent of violent rhetoric behind these events. Talk of how America is in the hands of traitors, discussions of revolution and secession, dangerous accusations and thinly-veiled threats towards public officials are a staple of many of the protesters' thinking. Documenting this is important, and possibly a little dangerous

To that end, fellow Kossack and good friend Maimonides has developed some good rules of thumb for those planning on participating in our liveblog today by covering a Teabagger event. Even if you're not going to one, these are still good general guidelines for covering any potentially hostile protest:

Maimonides' Rules for Covering Protests
I do this fairly often. When you suffer from agoraphobia, angry crowds are the ultimate thrill-ride. But I've learned from my mistakes.

  1.   Do not engage. If you're asked who you're with say you're a tourist, an independent photographer, or there as part of the protest if you answer at all.
  1.   Do not be a lightning rod. They are also filming. Do not give them video to work with.
  1.   Do not get hurt. I've been punched while playing this game, when I was stupid enough to break rule 1. I do not want anyone hurt, arrested or hurt and arrested.
  1.   Get the snaps. Just get the picture  Show up after they've organized (10-15 minutes late) and look around. Find your targets, take them, don't get in the way.  
  1.   Respect the subjects. I know, hard one, but they are people too, people who just want to get together with like-mindless morans of largely the same ethnic background. Nonetheless, respect their right to protest. They're Americans too, albeit selfish ones.

You can find local Kossack coverage of Teabagging events nationwide below. If you visit those diaries, do not recommend them. That's the purpose of the Mothership diary. But do, indeed do, tip your intrepid reporters: they dare to go where angels would feel distinctly uncomfortable.

Baby-ship Teabagger diary links (I'll update this list as more come online):

Maimonides' live coverage of the DC area Teabagger is right here in his liveblog.

Afroponix is teabaggin' by the seashore in Connecticut.

bsmechanic has a liveblogfrom Federal Plaza in downtown Chicago.

Kimoconnor has her liveblogfrom San Francisco, so we're rockin' these bags from coast to coast.

COkdub has coverage from Colorado,with photos and the whole nine.

Ninepatch, who committed to liveblog the Cleveland, Ohio Teabaggin' says there's been a rescheduling. It was originally scheduled for Noon-2PM on Public Square. It has now been rescheduled to 4PM-6PM on Mall C which is on Lakeside next to City Hall.

Clymnestra has been following the protests on Twitter. See that diaryhere.

Matador blogs a tea party from Annapolis, Maryland.

This is TOO good. Kossack soonerhq reports that Teabaggers from the Norman, OK area (a college town) plan to meet at a government-funded Amtrak Station! Ha ha ha. There's so many better places in Norman where they could have met!

Originally posted to droogie6655321 on Wed Apr 15, 2009 at 09:57 AM PDT.

Poll

I thought liberals were supposed to like the sissy, feminine hobby of tea drinking? What's your favorite?

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| 4511 votes | Vote | Results

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