Happiness, or even its half-cousin contentment, is in short supply. Those of us lucky enough to have jobs are working harder and making do with less. Those of us who don't have jobs are going through the humiliating, demoralizing job search process. Even our homes can feel like our own private stress bubble at times.
How do you get back your happiness? Your sense of calm? You recognize it when it arrives. When it's particularly intense, it's like a feeling of warmth radiating outward from your chest. Or maybe that's just me. When it's not around, you notice that even more.
Getting back to a state of calm contentedness is possible, even when you know your problems are still there despite your mood. Don't think of being happy as a silly thing or a waste of time because a change of mood can give you the boost you need to tackle and solve your problems.
I'm no motivational speaker myself, but there are some things you can do in your mind, to yourself or to your environment that give you a new way of looking at things, and a better state of mind. Not all of these things will work for you, but I'd like you to choose one from my list and try it at some point this week. See if it doesn't make a difference for you.
Take a route to work you don't usually take
Do you ever arrive at work and realize you don't even remember the trip over? It doesn't have to be that way. When I worked downtown, I weaved around buildings and walked through different areas of the city as often as I could. Like many of the other tips I'm going to share, it will sound silly, and it might even feel silly while you're doing it. But try it out. Take your time. Walk rather than drive, if possible, because it lets you notice more things. Have an adventure rather than just another commute.
Plan an entire meal from ingredients to serving
What are your favorite ingredients? Do you love Parmesan cheese? Or seafood? Or blueberries? (Well, not all in the same dish). Think of your favorite things to eat and plan a meal using those. AllRecipes dot com has a great search function that works by ingredient, and gives you a recipe to try based on that.
When you've decided, plan a night of slow food. Take your time and give careful attention to every step of the process from cooking to presentation. Not only are you trying something new, but you're getting those creative juices going -- two things that always cheer me up. And you get a meal out of it to boot. Even if you don't consider yourself a cook, making food is a challenging, fun hobby. Most of the time, you can eat your mistakes.
Talk to a total stranger
In Western society, the protective layer of personal space we've built up around ourselves isolates us from others. Even when we talk to one another, we keep it to "small talk." Have you ever thought about that phrase, small talk? Talk that is small. Why would small talk be engaging to anyone? Who does it stimulate?
I'm suggesting you talk big. Really try to get to know someone new. Don't be afraid to share. Yeah, they may think you're a freak for doing so, but what does it matter? The best thing is you can do it anytime or anywhere. You can learn so much from others because we each experience the world in a different way. If you don't want to put yourself "out there" in public, the magic of the Internet has the answer in Omegle dot com, where you can have a no-holds-barred conversation with anybody in the world, instantly and trouble-free.
Make a list
For organization-minded people, there's nothing that relaxes them more than making a list. My wife is like this. She's such a relentless cataloger that she actually breathes an audible sigh of contentment after balancing her checkbook. Even for those of us who, like myself, struggle to keep things organized, the simple action of writing it all down on a sheet of paper can make all the difference. Before, it was a hopeless scattering of thoughts. Now it's all there in black and white. You've just emptied out your head onto paper. Why do you think I'm a writer? It's for exactly this reason.
Making a list may sound more like an "action" step than a mood booster that you do before taking action, but before you take action you must plan. Besides, your list doesn't necessarily have to be related to a specific task. Have you ever literally counted your blessings? Maybe if you're having a terrible day, you write down the things that went right -- because on days like those, it can actually be easier to count what went right than what went wrong, am I right?
Write a personal mantra or craft a mental exercise
In one of my favorite episodes, Lisa Simpson discovers her own personal confidence-building motto, "You are Lisa Simpson." Gets me every time. Google around and find a lovely, peaceful or inspiring mantra or motto that has some kind of deeper meaning for you. Commit it to memory or write it on a scrap of paper and carry it in your pocket. When stress arrives, recite it to yourself slowly and thoughtfully, taking a short pause that's just for you.
If you aren't the spiritual type, you probably still realize the importance of having a positive, motivated mood. Develop a mental exercise (think of it as a warm-up for your brain) for when you feel down or uncreative. This can be a mental snapshot, a word or phrase, or a thought you return to -- anything that improves your mood when you take your mind there. For example, whenever I feel a lack of motivation, I have a mental routine I call "sharpening up." I picture two pieces of metal sharpening one another, or a razor blade being honed on a whetstone. This may not be the right picture for you, but you can find something that works. And nobody else will ever have to know about it.
Find a quiet place
Do you have a place at work, or a short walk from work maybe, where you go when you need some quiet? Is there a place near your home away from the center of activity where you can go for a few uninterrupted moments to yourself? A spare room? An outdoor alleyway? A fire escape? A place in a cluster of trees? Anything? Find a spot like this and visit it when you need just a few minutes to recuperate and gather your thoughts.
If there is no place like this, then simply make the place where you are already a little bit more quiet. This works best at home. Turn off the TV. Switch off appliances. Maybe introduce some white noise on a speaker, or some relaxing music on some headphones. I prefer no sound at all rather than noises that cover other noises, but beggars can't be choosers.A friend of mine has an art museum within walking distance from his job. I am so envious of that! Take advantage of what your space has to offer.
Look better, feel better
At first this might sound like a gender-specific tip, but it isn't. Guys need to feel good about themselves too. And for many people, there are few things that build up confidence more quickly than a change in personal appearance. It doesn't have to be a complete, head-to-toe makeover. It doesn't have to be anything expensive. If you need a new dress or a shirt and tie or a day at the salon, I think the cost is justified if it makes you feel better, but it doesn't have to involve anything like that.
Wear a shirt you haven't worn in a while that's been shoved to the back of your closet. Iron your clothes before you step out instead of hoping people won't notice the wrinkles. One thing I'm kind of a fanatic about is shoeshining. To me, there's nothing nicer than putting a nice gloss on your favorite pair of shoes. It helps you look ambitious and "together," like you have an eye for detail -- even if you don't! And chances are you've already got the stuff to do it. Even if you don't, there's few things cheaper or longer-lasting than a can of shoe polish and a rag. Youtube has some instructional videos too.
Play with an animal, or just watch one play
You've probably heard that people who own pets live longer. Whether this is true or not, it certainly feels that way. When you play with an animal, you can feel your worries melt. After all, if they can be that happy, why can't you? If you don't have a pet of your own, offer to give a friend's dog a walk or take care of a friend's cat while they're away. If you are a pet owner yourself, you might check and see if there's a dog park in the area -- or if not a park specifically for dogs, then at least a dog-friendly park with plenty of animal lovers who go there.
There's nothing my cat appreciates more than a little attention, and for my dog that's double-true. Try playing with them on their terms. Romp around on the floor. Play with your dog or cat like they want to play with you. Let them lead for a while. They'll love it and so will you.
Use your five senses
Human beings with fully functioning eyesight tend to grow dependent on that one sense for almost everything. But most of us have five senses! Why neglect the other four? When we were babies, we would crawl around and try to experience everything to the fullest. We were fascinated by the sound things made when we smacked them with our hands, or the way foods tasted when we never had tried them before. Of course, this wasn't always good. I'm not recommending you go chew on the edge of a rug like my one-year-old would if I let him. My point is to use your senses to let you experience more of your surroundings.
When I was in journalism school, I had a professor who told us to write to the five senses. He did this because the world is a more interesting place when each of your senses are engaged. More input means more mental stimulation, and a more active mind. If you constantly challenge your mind, it won't become rigid and atrophy over time.
What works for you?
As I said before, I'm not a scientist, a therapist, a guru, a doctor or a motivational speaker. I'm just a guy who sometimes can be moody, withdrawn, unmotivated and generally unhappy. But emotions like that stress the importance of feeling good, and they help you appreciate how great it can be to be happy or content.
So in the comments section, please share some tips of your own. Nobody's tip will work for everyone all the time, but maybe something that works for you will be useful to someone else. And please don't be embarrassed. I know a lot of this stuff sounds silly when you say it out loud, but don't be shy. If you share it, you could be spreading a good mood.
Be happy, y'all.