OK, my first crack at this.
I have to ask all of you, seriously:
How many of you were at one time conservative Republicans? Primarily the conservative part. I really want to hear from those of you who were, either in your comments below this or, if you prefer, in one-on-one exchanges.
I used to be one. What factor(s) caused you to change?
A little about my background:
Born in northeast Texas, lived there until the end of 3rd grade, then moved to Colorado. Mom's side of the family is predominantly evangelical Christian. Her parents and aunts and uncles were mostly Southern Democrats but right wing on so many things. Dad's side was not so overtly evangelical Christian, but a lot of them are fiercely right wing politically.
As for me, I vacillated through my youth then when I started college was molding into a reliable young Republican conservative. I joined the College Republicans and was involved with them for 2 years.
What kind of conservative Republican was I? I was a team player in the sense that come presidential election time I would punch the ticket for whoever had an "R" after his name, but in between found mainstream conservatism too soft. I went to a Pat Buchanan rally in Denver just two days after he won the New Hampshire primary in 1996 and was in the front row, chanting (with fist pumping) "GO PAT GO! . . ." I never got involved in militia activity, and never joined the John Birch Society, but I did listen to militia-friendly talk radio, and subscribed to the JBSs "New American" magazine.
What kind of evangelical was I? The kind that liked to focus on controversial subjects and fret about the "New World Order" (while simultaneously putting on the face that said that it was great because it meant Jesus is coming back soon).
How bizarre did it get for me? I even hobnobbed with Denver pastor and talk show host Bob Enyart, who says repeatedly that James Dobson, of all people, is too soft on abortion and homosexuals. I don't have a source, but when the idea of legalizing gay marriage was first talked about more than a little bit, circa 1996, he said "The problem isn't that homos (his moniker for the GLBT community) want to get married. The problem is that they exist." He repeatedly called for the death penalty for homosexuality (he's a Reconstructionist, even though I never heard him use the word. His views on a proper criminal justice system are even scarier. I joined many of his followers in an anti-abortion protest twice. Once we picketed an abortion doctor's home and then U.S. Rep. Diana DeGette's house.
The transformation process
So what, you ask, changed me? First, in the summer of 1999, I pretty much quit church cold turkey. The teachings of evangelical Christianity no longer made sense to me. I didn't immediately turn fully atheist - that took several more years. Just the same, I couldn't call myself a right-winger politically anymore, but I didn't immediately turn lefty.
I dabbled in libertarianism (thank 9/11 and the Patriot Act for that) and then even in anti-statist capitalism. That part lasted up until about a year ago.
More specifically, what contributed to turning me around? Three Es: empathy, experience, and exposure. Throw in an "l" too - logic.
The empathy part came in the 90s when I was chest-deep in right-wing fundyism. During that time I found out my brother is gay. Sometimes I outwardly showed my hardcore rightism to him, and it saddens me to this day knowing some of the things I said to him. Even during this, though, we remained as tight-knit as brothers could be. Our love for each other as brothers never waned.
My chances to show empathy showed in a lot of other areas, but I point to my brother as one of the biggest reasons why I'm no longer Christian or conservative. Ironically, he's been pretty active in Republican politics all of his life. Go figure!
As for experience, that took root once I got married. I met my current wife within weeks after quitting church. During our married life we are as strong relationally as a couple can be. I couldn't have asked for a better mate. She brought out the good sides of me that I didn't know existed.
Our hard experiences - especially the financial ones, helped convince me of the absolute necessity of a government safety net. I'm convinced of this even as I see that the vast majority of our financial problems are a result of our own mistakes. Add that to being on the business end of the ugly side of a corporation (I'll share some details without naming names if you ask).
For years I took a "principled" stance that I would never accept government assistance. I would tough it out. Losing my job, and going two months before being able to find my next one, and then losing that several months later, cemented in my mind once and for all the need for a social safety net. Even if I grant to conservatives that too many people game the system (and I don't think it's as widespread as they make it out to be) and use that as a substitute for work and self-sufficiency, I'd rather have a system in place - with the potential for it being abused than no social safety net and being SOL if I lose my income.
My leaving the church, among other things, allowed me to really get a taste of the third "e" - exposure. It allowed me to meet my wife. I could socialize with people who held a whole variety of political and religious beliefs and not feel one ounce of guilt about it. Of course, I had done that kind of socializing before, but no longer did I spend any time afterward agonizing or praying about participating in anything "un-Biblical".
My last couple of jobs helped too. White males, such as myself, are in the minority where I work. I've never really had any animosity towards people of different races, but I must say that I have been blind to the plight of minorities - carrying around a certain naivete. I have plenty of progress to make, but I can say that I have shed the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" attitude.
The internet helped in the exposure department. Actually reading and listening to arguments from people on the left plays a key role. Sometimes light reading can have a big impact. This article, whatever it's faults may be, played a key role in making me re-evaluate my beliefs.
I will have you know that I'm just as serious about my atheism as I am about my liberalism. I'll leave it at that for now. Don't get me wrong. I have no beef with people who believe in the supernatural. If you want to discuss that part with me, please do so in a more private context.
So, take heart. Sometimes people who are fully into radical right wing ways can turn around. There's much that I didn't touch on and I'm sure some of you may have a lot of questions, but I don't want this to be much longer. Again, please, I want to hear your stories if you were once on the other side.