So in yesterday's rec list diary DADT Proponents Get Their way; Gay Iraq Vet Fired, I was pretty much at the center of an 'interesting interaction' with several people.
I was challenged asked to provide my own diary so to provide my own perspective on gay rights. That way it would be on my terms and in terms of a debate it would be only fair (as now I get to defend my claims).
This diary is obliging that request.
I will say up front that what follows is my thoughts and perceptions pretty much unfiltered.
I guarantee you that some of what is going to be said is going to sound pretty unflattering to some here. If you can not stand that or do not want to read what is essentially going to be a meta discussion, go ahead and click back. I would like people to stay but I do not wish to waste people's time.
So for those of that followed me over the jump, let me be clear here on my expectations and what follows.
I do not really have good expectations for this, in fact my bar is set so low that even a half way civil exchange on average would surprise me. I am going to endeavor to keep an open mind here and deal in good faith but I do not really expect that effort to be reciprocated. I really want to be wrong. But if I have learned anything in the on and off run ins with several posters I have had, it is that many of the loudest voices here do not deal honestly. They deal in character assassination, innuendo, insults, misdirection, straw man and blatant abuse of the rec system to try and silence dissent from the world view that said people hold. That experience has indeed very much jaded my perception of DK. I once thought that even if we (the general community) fought like a family that we were still a family (metaphorically speaking) and that we essentially were on the same team.
I now consider that outlook pretty naive and in all honesty there are people on this site that have for at least the short term burned their bridges with me and I think I would be better off never seeing another one of their comments. And most certainly never meet them in person. Time may change that, but I am not holding my breath.
So to sum up, I do not expect this to end well. I expect that I will end up with another couple hidden comments. I expect that I will have people misrepresenting my position, attacking both my character and my sincerity, I expect the admins to just sit by and watch this happen for whatever reason and I expect that when this is over for things to be worse then when they started.
And no I do not wish to debate the above. It's my own personal perception and you are not going to convince me with words that I am wrong. You think I am mistaken? Then show me that with actions.
Now then because I was asked to basically defend multiple points in a topic (GLBT equality) I am going to break up what follows on those points. This will be complicated. I am sorry but I am complicated person and I think that way. I will do my best to simplify and reiterate my points at least twice to cut down on misinterpretation. If after reading this you still are not sure, ask me and I will do my best to explain. I make it a point of pride to respond to 95+% of the comments made in any diary I make.
Before we begin, this is my fundamental position: I support GLBT equality, hell I support equality in general. I think it's fucking ridiculous that women have to in general fight twice as hard as men to be taken seriously. I think that it is fucking ridiculous that conservatives so concerned about privacy are going to tell 2 consenting adults what they can and can not do in their own home. I think it is fucking ridiculous that conservatives blather on about immigrants when this country was built on immigrants.
Questioning that resolve, that sincerity will only piss me off and create problems.
So let's get this started with the most recent topic, Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT). Now let me start off by stating this is really a moronic law, it needlessly knee caps our military as demonstrated by yesterday's diary.
DADT is in many ways emblematic of how the GOP in trying to be 'pure' instead shots itself in the foot. If it really is a problem for homosexual and heterosexual soldiers to share living quarters then I can think of any number of possible solutions. And in a combat zone, I do not really think most people are going to be thinking about the sexuality of the soldier guarding their flank. They are more worried about the enemy shooting at them.
DADT is likely to end up (like much of the 30 years of the Regan GOP) repealed and an embarrassment that we try to gloss over. That said, should we really have this be focusing so intently on DADT so early?
I do not think so, I think that right now if Obama made a serious push on DADT that the GOP would attack him and the majority of Americans would start wondering why the president is 'wasting' time on this issue when we have 2 wars, a diseased economy and all the midnight 'gifts' Bush left. And the end result would be (at best) Obama taking an hit in his popularity and political capital for something that is already inevitable. At worst, Obama would take the same hit and DADT repeal would get stuck.
I think that realistically it is foolish and naive to throw what is effectively a tantrum because it has been four months and DADT is still there. You know what? It's been 4 months and we still do not have anything concrete on energy, high speed rail, affordable education and a number of other things that are also important.
Chill out people, please. I empathize as I know this is the culmination of decades of pain, struggle and work but now is not the time to get impatient. It's natural when the finish line is in sight, but now is not the time to lose discipline.
If we were approaching the mid terms at least I could partially understand. I would not agree (as I think Obama should have his full term to either deliver or not) but at least I could understand. Not to mention those leading the charge on this would have looked more reasonable then they do now.
Now I know what the 2 counter arguments will be, namely 'Obama can walk and chew gum' and 'this will be easy'.
Frankly both arguments are wrong, look this is not walking and chewing gum. Obama already has multiple time sensitive issues to deal with (ie issues that only get worse with more time). And those issues effect magnitudes of order more people then DADT. DADT is not time sensitive, not in the same sense that Iraq, Afghanistan, the midnight rules or the economy is.
Any one claiming this is easy, probably should have their heads checked. Sure homosexuality as a wedge issue is disappearing but it is still there. And the GOP has only gotten more wing nutty. So you can expect procedural block after procedural block all the while screaming loudly about what is being done. Just look at the last 4 months or just look at what happened in the House with the Matthew Shepards Act. The GOP having fallen to the base of its base will fight us for every inch because they are now pretty much completely beholden to a base that mindless hates any one that thinks differently, acts differently or is different from them.
Moving on I would also point out that compared to hate crime legislation, equal marriage and everything else; DADT seems rather small. Important yes, but there has to be a sense of prioritization. Because it is unlikely that everything desired will be obtained. So it is important to know what you want so you can achieve that first. Myself I think it is much more worthy of our time to build on the sudden momentum of states recognizing same sex marriage. As that in turn calls out the GOP on all it's lies about marriage.
So to summarize my points are:
The time and effort needed right now is probably inappropriate given the reality of the circumstances we are in.
People need to be patient and give Obama the time to fulfill his promise, this will not be a cake walk and will not be easy.
There needs to be a sense of prioritization. I feel it's much more worthy of our time to build on the recent victories then spend the time trying to fight the GOP and the military on DADT.
My next point, many (but not all) of those advocating GLBT have a bit of growing up to do.
Now I expect that statement to go over about as well as someone shaking nitroglycerin but it's true.
There are a number of advocates here that needless antagonize allies and if not turn them away from the struggle at least make them lukewarm towards it.
After all after pissing someone off why should they help you even if the cause is bigger then both of you? You can make a logical appeal and you would even be right in that logic. Sometimes though emotion out wieghs the logic, sometimes bridges can not be fixed, sometimes things can not be fixed. And after that the question becomes what is more important, how much you dislike and dispise that person or the cause?
I originally thought of most (if not all) of the GLBT advocates here in the vein of MLK. That was simply erroneous. At best many of the advocates here have some things in common with MLK but mostly they have more in common with the more militant aspects of black power.
Logically I can understand having broken with the faith of my birth and finding myself lost and more then a little alone I adopted a similar attitude. After all who can attack you if you are doing the attacking?
But at some point this has to stop or you needlessly antagonize all you allies till you truly are alone.
I would do a lot for the march to equal rights, I am not as singularly committed as some here. But I would do as much as I could because I believe in equality. Because I believe that our differences should be celebrated not ruthlessly attacked, trivialized and then shoved aside.
Our differences in thought, action and speech make possible the uncountable variation in human interaction. And such a thing should be cherish and nurtured.
And yet those same advocates, those same people that if we can not agree on the tactics then we agree on the strategy would mindlessly and reflexively push people away because they do not conform to the view they hold about what a 'true' supporter should be like.
Personally I find that somewhat sad but mostly short sighted.
I am not naive, I have been on the internet since the early 90s I know trolls exist. I know that some people can not or do not want to be reached but I believe everyone deserves an honest effort. Especially if we are going champion ourselves as a big tent party.
And that apparently is sacrilege to some as they would rather label that person a troll and give them the boot. Followed immediately by attacking me for trying to keep an open mind and actually consider the possibility that the person was not a troll.
And so to summarize:
GLBT advocates have some maturing to do and I think on balance they have more in common with the more militant aspects of black power then MLK.
I base that on what I have seen with how dissent is handled and how many of those advocates approach people that do not 100% agree with them.
I think said advocates are needlessly making enemies out of allies. And that if they are not careful they are going to push too many people into apathetic caring at best.
I know that this is not a complete view of my stance on the numerous aspects of GLBT equality but this diary has gone on long enough. Not to mention it dealt with the current issue and perhaps the what could accurately be called the central issue so I end it. I might publish another one on other aspects, I sincerely doubt that possibility but I will hold it open.