A guide to most of them:
( ) 9/11
( ) The Financial meltdown
( ) Bruce Willis Hair Loss
( ) Sarah Palin
Was caused by
( ) Cheney & Co.
( ) The Iluminatti
( ) Kevin Bacon
( ) Nanci Pelosi
who
( ) LIHOP - let it happen on purpose
( ) MIHOP - made it happen on purpose
( ) DRTACE - Didn't respond to a chain email
( ) DWAFP - Didn't wear a flag pin
With the evil intent of
( ) Having the powa!!!
( ) Making more money
( ) Punishing the infidels
( ) Selling more lipstick and red pumps
Therefore making
( ) the entire country
( ) GOP, the "real Americans"
( ) the world
( ) Rich Lowry
unable to do anything but
( ) Gasp in horror
( ) Soil their undies
( ) think we are crazy
( ) See starbursts
This can be proven by
( ) unreleased documents that will never see the light of day - bwahahaha!
( ) covering your head with Dijon mustard
( ) reading this babbling incoherent web sites I tell you to
( ) watching this barf inducing video some nut made
So you should:
( ) Give me money
( ) Treat me as King Know it All
( ) store up on canned goods and give all your earthly possessions to my cause
( ) All of the above and give me more money
Sincerely,
P. Ar Noid
And remember
Just because you are paranaoid it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you