Sorry if this is a bit of a heavy topic for Top Comments. I just can't imagine writing about anything else right now.
My heart feels heavier this week. Heavy with grief and loss. Yesterday morning, clonecone and I had to go to the kitty hospital and put our cat, Buna, to sleep forever. Buna was my cat, my best friend, and my baby for almost 7 years. His 7th birthday would have been in just a few weeks, August 1st. He was way too young to leave me. Obviously I wanted him to live for as long as I did, at least, but was hoping to get 18 years together.
We are getting him cremated. I'm going to go to a local place here so I can make a ceramic urn for him. I think I need to do that. This is by far the hardest loss I've ever felt in my life. When my Grandma died, she'd had emphysema for 10 years. When my Great Grandma died she was 86 and had heart trouble. When my Great Aunts Catherine and Mildred died they were 92 and 96 respectively. Those deaths were not a shock to me. They were sad, but I didn't live with the people I was losing. I wasn't even very close to some of them. This is something altogether different. This was my little guy. He seemed to know when I needed some extra snuggling. He knew when I was sad or happy. Buna was there for me when no one else was. He was my baby.
My friend Brett had some advice for me on Facebook:
It will get easier over time, but I know losing Lulu was really difficult, and heaven forbid I ever lose Kayla. I think you won't get me off the floor.
The only reason I'm not on the floor today is because of my husband, clonecone. I can't express how much I love this man. He has lent me the strength I needed to deal with my grief this week. He was the one who made the calls to the kitty hospital. He was the one who took that last call and he was the one who had to tell me that I was going to lose my baby. I feel like my heart should be empty because Buna is gone, but it isn't empty - it's full of love for my husband and our little family, Hudson and Zoe our two Boston Terriers, and Indigo, Ender, and Dora (clonecone says her name is Monkey) - Buna's brothers and sister, and it's full of love for him even though he's gone. I'm so sad he will never get to meet our children - when we have them. I'm sad our children will never get to meet and love him.
Work was really hard today. I cried the whole way home - knowing that Buna would not be here when I arrived, knowing that I'd have to settle for looking at his picture instead of giving him a big hug. Work was hard for other reasons today too - a good friend found out she's got to change her lifestyle or suffer serious health consequences. Another friend was supposed to get a kidney transplant last night but did not due to other complications. My heart feels heavier today with grief and worry.
I miss him so much. I never wanted to imagine life without Buna. No one will ever replace him for me. I feel like I've lost a part of me. He will be with me for as long as I live.
Tonight's Top Comments:
From jennifree2bme:
My nomination for most totally awesomest comment goes to President Obama.
Thanks to Kitty for the photo and video.
From WeeMama:
Bustacap reveals the petard on which the Republicans are hoisting themselves.
From TrueBlueMajority (a first top comment submission! Welcome!!):
Bustacap, in wmtriallawyer's diary, It's OK to Hate...So Long as You Condemn von Brunn notes what happens when you leave raw sewage in the streets.
From mieprowan (a very educational top comment):
CornSyrupAwareness demonstrates how to link photos from Flickr here.
From sberel:
In Wednesday's FAQ Forum , Dvogel001 asks for clarification about what constitutes a diary hijack. Plf515 and KenBee help him figure it out.
From annetteboardman:
my nomination, a comment from darthstar, but actually you need to see the picture of my pootie that inspired the comment first.
Top Mojo - collected for you by the fabulous brillig - please tip her for her work:
Top 30 Comments excluding first comments, tip jars, and other stuff:
1) Tip jar by william f harrison — 218
2) Good old Ronald Reagan by A Voice — 214
3) I see your mythical welfare queen by xxdr zombiexx — 194
4) It is unbelievable to me.... by Trial Lawyer Richard — 184
5) The AMA is also attacking nurses by Benintn — 163
6) I see your 2 Wall Street douchebags by rbutters — 160
7) Doc, what about the welfare mom w a Cadillac? by FishOutofWater — 138
8) I see your Blue Dog Dems... by boofdah — 131
9) Union-busting, bubble-economics, greed-is-good by wader — 126
10) I'm still grappling with contradictory notions: by Jerome a Paris — 124
11) Let it be so. Let this cancellation be by Hillbilly Dem — 115
12) Thank you! n/t by SarahLee — 102
13) Hate Radio is falling out of favor by aaraujo — 100
14) The responsible white seperatist community by droogie6655321 — 97
15) Thank you for this, sir by Dallasdoc — 95
16) You forgot by VA Classical Liberal — 94
17) This is a fascinating inside perspective. by feeny — 93
18) I don't get it either. by stillwaters — 92
19) Today's conservatives, so called, by political junquie — 92
20) Pro-birth, by tc59 — 91
21) You Don't Fuck With the Rich Post-Reagan by Gooserock — 91
22) I think progressives stopped using violence by grannyhelen — 90
23) now i have to get to sleep. by william f harrison — 83
24) Joe is wrong on so many levels. by KingOneEye — 81
25) didn't they have a cow when nurse practicioners by foggycity — 80
26) Jerome, I am struggling with this too, and by blue jersey mom — 80
27) Good for strength of spirit and hope by Otteray Scribe — 80
28) Yeah, and the white separatist community by GOTV — 79
29) Also letting polluters by NogodsnomastersMary — 78
30) Rachel's first segment last night was about the by blueyescryinintherain — 77
Top 30 (plus ties) Comments with no exclusions:
1) Tip Jar by doctoraaron — 868
2) Tip Jar by william f harrison — 823
3) Tip Jar by GregMitch — 626
4) Tip Jar by xxdr zombiexx — 578
5) Tip Jar by icebergslim — 565
6) Tip Jar by Kitsap River — 530
7) Tip Jar by maracatu — 421
8) inexcusable by Turkana — 384
9) Yet another something's been on my mind. by Crashing Vor — 339
10) A sad day yesterday. by wmtriallawyer — 276
11) Tip Jar - 11 June by Jerome a Paris — 247
12) Tip jar by william f harrison — 218
13) Good old Ronald Reagan by A Voice — 214
14) I see your mythical welfare queen by xxdr zombiexx — 194
15) It is unbelievable to me.... by Trial Lawyer Richard — 184
16) Tip Jar by marabout40 — 169
17) The AMA is also attacking nurses by Benintn — 163
18) I see your 2 Wall Street douchebags by rbutters — 160
19) Tip Jar by Youffraita — 147
20) Doc, what about the welfare mom w a Cadillac? by FishOutofWater — 138
21) I see your Blue Dog Dems... by boofdah — 131
22) Union-busting, bubble-economics, greed-is-good by wader — 126
23) I'm still grappling with contradictory notions: by Jerome a Paris — 124
24) Let it be so. Let this cancellation be by Hillbilly Dem — 115
25) Thank you! n/t by SarahLee — 102
26) Hate Radio is falling out of favor by aaraujo — 100
27) Bless this community. by noweasels — 98
28) The responsible white seperatist community by droogie6655321 — 97
29) Thank you for this, sir by Dallasdoc — 95
30) You forgot by VA Classical Liberal — 94
31) This is a fascinating inside perspective. by feeny — 94