There's little doubt that the continuing pattern of evasion, silence and apparent disrespect for LGBT rights on the part of President Obama has greatly raised the ire of the queer community (myself included), an ire in part directed at the President. While as a bisexual activist I share that ire, there's another direction that anger has taken, a more diffuse anger directed against the Democratic Party, and that's creating a rift that's potentially harmful to everyone involved. This diary seeks to explore some of the causes for this developing rift, explain why it's important not just for the LGBT community but also for us Democrats in general to take steps toward healing that rift and moving forward constructively.
First, addressing LGBT Democrats, we (and I entirely include myself in this) need to move beyond the blind outrage many of us are feeling right now. Much of that outrage is entirely defensible, but it's too easy to misdirect it, I'd like to find a way to move forward to better-directed outrage. We face some significant hurdles in this regard, one of which is the lack of effective leadership within the LGBT community. It is one thing to speak of "everyone being a leader" as Pam Spaulding eloquently did over at the Blend, but it's another to have a well-known, charismatic figure who can stand up for our rights, our needs and our beliefs and make our case to the American public. I suspect many of us made the mistake of thinking that President Obama would be that man, but even in the most charitable framing he's not, he doesn't support marriage equality, and he's not one of us. We don't have that leader, at least not yet. I think we have some in-house talent who could do it (Fr. Geoff Farrow, Pam Spauling and a few others come to mind), but we need to find ways to enable them to use their enviable speaking and writing skills and helping them reach more people both inside and outside of our community.
A final thought of those of us in the queer community, as tempting as it is to abandon the party at this point we're not going to be able to do that effectively on a large scale without shooting ourselves in the foot. Specific examples aside, for the most part we're less hated and dismissed by the Democratic party that the GOP, and I don't expect that to change anytime soon.
To the allies in the audience here who are feeling angry at what seems an overreaction or disloyalty from the LGBT community, let me say a few words. If you have not followed LGBT rights closely for some time, I ask you first to take a little time to understand the framing of our anger. Understand that this anger didn't begin with President Obama, many in the LGBT community continue to feel that President Clinton's support of DADT and DOMA were backstabs as well, and find no difficulty finding a parallel in President Obama. Take time to understand it's not just DADT, it's not just DOMA, it's silence on ENDA, on the UAFA. (If you don't know what those acronyms mean, you need to learn if you want to help heal this rift.) And watch the video of Obama responding to Brian Williams on marriage equality, and judge for yourself just how much the President's discomfort registers for you. Even if you don't agree that this all constitutes a pattern, take a little time to understand why we might disagree.
I'd also ask you to learn a little more about just how harmful marriage inequality can be. If I told you the cost was measured in human lives you'd think it hyperbole, but you won't understand how I reach that conclusion unless you ask me.
Beyond understanding, I ask those of you who haven't, to take a step, one visible step forward if you haven't already. Understand that distrust of the President and the Party more generally gets painted, fairly or unfairly onto you because the LGBT community, fairly or unfairly, feels that the Democratic Party take our votes for granted. Be wiling to say "I love my President, but he messed up this time." when he messes up on LGBT rights, as he surely has done. Reflexive efforts to assume there wasn't a mistake without a little more thinking come off as dismissive, and promote the rift I'm suggesting we all try and heal. Writing the President, your Congressmen, and asking them to move on LGBT issues now will make a difference in how you are perceived.
I don't have a lot in the way of carrots or sticks to offer you for these efforts, in terms of races you'll win or lose because of the LGBT community. The queer community just isn't that large. I would hope that "doing the right thing" is payment enough, but I recognize that that might not always be the case. Losing the trust of the LGBT communities will come with a cost, though, even smaller ways. It may not upset the 2012 presidential race, but there are other races to worry about. The distrust and isolation we're feeling can reduce energy for volunteering and campaign donations. To pick a more specific example close to home, it wouldn't surprise me at all to see Republican gubernatorial candidate Tom Campbell (weak player now, but smart for a GOP guy and published as pro-same-sex-marriage) take a few donation dollars and doorstep visits from a Democratic candidate whose record on same-sex marriage might not be as strong. Conversely, an LGBT electorate energized by real accomplishments in the field of LGBT rights will have more enthusiasm to work for Democratic candidates, and more money left to donate towards candidates if they aren't fire-fighting voter efforts to deny our equality.
This rift has the potential to hurt both LGBT Americans and our party, and it needs to be addressed now, it's gone on for far too long.
It's time for Change.