Hello intrepid trekkers and politicos, I'm writing from one of the most beautiful and under-appreciated spots in America and let me tell you its never been more stunning than it is today!
The leaves are in full bloom... the mountaintops are frosted with just the slightest tinge of autumn... and this afternoon I had the most tender bife de chorizo with a an underage hooker from Mendoza!
Oh, oh wait... I hear a bird... there are so many in sparse wilderness environments like this! So, let me ditch my pocketful of Mexican Viagra so that I can sneak past this archway (built in the Rioplatense baroque architectural style that the Appalachian Trail is known for) to get a better look.
No, not a bird... just a taxi filled with "tourista" as they're called by the "redneck" locals.
Easy to get those confused when you're in the middle of nowhere.
(Let me say, its moments like this -- out here in the emptiness and solace of natural beauties like the Obelisk, the Caminito in La Boca and the Floralis Generica in Recoleta -- that I really understand the wholesome beauty of rejecting "march-to-socialism" government stimulus, thereby depriving needy people of services and further plunging a state's economy into recession, while at the same time endearing me to the crazies who I need to propel me to politically forward in this great country I currently stand in!)
¡Fantastica¡
Oh, hey, while I've got you here, might one of you do me the favor of calling my wife, my press secretary and most of the South Carolina governmental officials. I'd do it myself, but cell phone coverage is notoriously bad in the wilderness and finding a land-line while high on ground up ritalin and sangria in a city of thirteen million is next to impossible!
No need to give any of the above a message, other than the air is clear,
the skies are dotted with clouds and I'm going to stay out here on the Appalachian Trail until I stumble over some explanation for the extra stamp in my passport, my new aides Carmelita and Rosa Blanca (right) and the massive rash on the under side of my testicles.
Viva South Carolina! Viva America! Viva Republican Party In My Pants!