Mark Sanford is a yutz.
He's also a human being, and a more honest one than most of the politicians who admit to affairs, including our own John Edwards, who was my first choice in 2008 and who I still love for many reasons.
While I'm happy enough to see Mark Sanford, whose politics I loathe, go down in flames, I would be even happier if our own community had been a little less judgmental (a trait I associate with Republicans) and a little more compassionate (a trait I would prefer to associate with Democrats).
There are a lot of reasons to dislike Sanford. But I thought today's presser had far more honesty than most of these things do.
Beyond that, there is the matter of the now published emails from Sanford to his lover. While it's easy enough to make fun of them, these aren't cartoon characters, and there are human hearts involved.
Related to this: I think email has created a dynamic that we, as a culture, have not yet really come to grips with.
Two brief stories:
- My former assistant left my employ five years ago and moved across the continent to marry her internet boyfriend, who she had barely met, and yet somehow knew quite well. While I've never forgiven her for abandoning me for mere romance (!), five years later they appear to be blissfully happy.
- My youngest son will, this fall, marry his Australian girlfriend, who he met and courted on line (www.geektogeek.com, as god is my witness).
And, for kicks, a third: My wife and I went to the same high school, but I courted her by mail because we were both so socially inept. In doing so we built a stronger relationship than we might have were we dating.
What I'm trying to say is that relationships that grow via correspondence can become unexpectedly deep and powerful. People who are connecting by the written word rather than grappling with the face-to-face and the day-to-day can end up opening to each other in unexpected ways, without even realizing it, and without intending to. Friendship grows into love unexpectedly.
I'm not saying what Sanford did isn't wrong. And I'm definitely not saying that his hypocrisy doesn't set him up for a certain amount of mockery.
I am saying I'd just as soon not see our own community grow mean-spirited as we dance around him, pointing and laughing. Schadenfreude? Oh, a certain amount is definitely appropriate here.
But the mockery of his love letters, clearly written from the heart, and meant to be private . . . I dunno. I just think we can do better than that.