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A recent diary that listed the top 10 episodes of "The Simpsons" made it onto the rec list and generated much debate.  So, to continue the fun, I thought I'd do one on another classic sitcom, "Seinfeld".  

A disclaimer: I am a big fan of "Seinfeld", but I am much more knowledgable on "The Simpsons".  But beacuase that diary was already done so well, I'll focus on the show about nothing.  Here goes:

  1. The Chinese Restaurant Season 2

Synopsis: Jerry, George, and Elaine wait for a table at a Chinese restaurant, but are in a hurry because they want to see a movie, the Ed Wood classic "Plan Nine from Outer Space".  They leave before they get the table, but seconds after they leave, their party is called.  

  1. The Puffy Shirt Season 5

Synopsis: Unemployed, George has dinner with his parents.  After leaving the table in frustration at his mother's desire for him to take the civil servant's exam, George bumps into a modeling agent who says he has exquisite hands and hires him as a hand model.  Meanwhile, Jerry and Elaine have dinner with Kramer and his girlfriend, a "low talker".  Unwittingly, Jerry agrees to wear her newest design, a "puffy shirt", when he appears on the "Today" show to promote a benefit to clothe the homeless.  He trashes the shirt on the show, and when a giddy George shows up in Jerry's dressing room and proceeds to ridicule the shirt, the low talker pushes him into a hot iron, ruining his hands and new career.  

  1. The Fire Season 5

Synopsis: George is at the birthday party for the son of the his girlfriend when a fire breaks out in the kitchen.  Rather than try to put it out, he flees, knocking over women and children on his way out the door.  The fire is put out by Eric the Clown (played by Jon Favreau), who used his big shoe to do so.  Meanwhile, Jerry does a show for a critic from Enterrtainment Weekly.  During the show, he is heckled by an annoying co-worker of Elaine's, a woman Kramer is dating.  To get revenge, Jerry goes to her work and heckles her, but when she flees her little toe is cut off by a street sweeper.  Kramer rescues the toe and returns it to its rightful owner.  Inspired by Kramer's bravery, George vows to win back his girlfriend, but is scared away from the comedy club by a prop comic with a fake gun, ruining a second show for Jerry.

  1. The Junior Mint Season 4

Synopsis: An ex boyfriend of Elaine's is scheduled to have surgery.  He was fat, but when Elaine sees him again, he is thin, causing things to spark up again.  Kramer and Jerry are invited to watch the surgery, but during it they argue over a junior mint, and the candy goes flying, landing inside the patient.  After the surgery, he takes a turn for the worse, and George buys some of his art, triangles, think it will increase in value once he dies.  But he recovers, regains his appetite, and the art remains worthless.  

  1. The Jimmy Season 6

Synopsis: At the health club, George strikes a deal to sell athletic shoes with a man named Jimmy, who refers to himself in the third person.  Elaine meets this guy later, but not knowing of this quirk, unwittingly makes a date with him.  Kramer goes to the dentist and returns to the club loaded up with novacaine.  Unable to swallow water, he spills, and Jimmy slips on the wet floor.  While hailing a cab, Kramer meets Mel Torme, who thinks Kramer is mentally challenged thanks to the novacaine and athletic shoes he's wearing.  He invites Kramer to sit at the head table of a benefit for the mentally challenged.  At the beneift, Jimmy punches Kramer because he blames him for his injury suffered on the wet floor, giving Kramer a fat lip and rendering him "challenged" once again.  Mel Torme serenades him.  

  1. The Hamptons Season 5

Synopsis: The gang goes to a friend's house in the Hamptons for the weekend.  While there, Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked after he has been in the pool, not knowing about "shrinkage" and thinking he is embarrassingly small.  Jerry and Elaine see a baby they think is ugly but everyone else thinks is adorable.  Kramer takes lobsters from a lobster trap he finds on the beach.  Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer see George's girlfriend topless while George is out buying tomatoes.  Jerry's girlfriend tells George's about her view of him, causing George's girlfriend to leave early.  George then makes scrambled eggs laced with lobster and serves them to Jerry's girlfriend, who is devoutly religous and unable to eat shell fish.  

  1. The Library Season 3

Synopsis: Jerry gets a letter that he owes on an overdue library book, "Tropic of Cancer", and must meet with the library detective, Det. Bookman.  At the library, Kramer falls in love with the librarian, who is also a poet.  Outside the library, George meets a homeless man he believes to be his old gym teacher, a man George got fired.  This suspicion is confirmed when the man gives George an atomic wedgie.

  1. The Bubble Boy Season 4

Synopsis: At Monk's coffee shop, Jerry and Elaine meet the father of s sick young man who lives in a bubble, the bubble boy.  The two have plans to go to a cabin owned by the father of George's girlfriend, Susan, and will stop to see the bubble boy on the way.  Jerry dates a woman with an annoying laugh, and when George unwittingly exposes this, she gets angry and breaks up with Jerry.  Jerry and Elaine get lost on the way to the bubble boy, leaving George and Susan to meet him alone.  To pass the time, they play him in Trivial Pursuit.  When he gives the seemingly correct answer "Moors", George tells him he's wrong, the answer is "Moops".  An arguement and fight ensue, and the boy's bubble is popped.  Meanwhile, Jerry's ex decides to go to the cabin with Kramer, and Kramer accidentially burns it down with a cigar given to him by Susan's father.  

  1. The Outing Season 4

Synopsis: At Monk's, George, Jerry, and Elaine Joke about George and Jerry being gay.  A writer from the NYU newspaper who is supposed to interview Jerry overhears, and decides to play up this angle in the story.  Jerry and George convince her they are straight, but when a poorly made two line phone causes her to believe she was duped, she puts the information back in the article.  Jerry is able to convince her once again he is straight, even going on a date with her.  The date is interrupted by George, who is trying to convince a woman he wants to dump that he is gay.  

  1. The Contest Season 4

Synopsis: George is caught pleasuring himself to Glamour magazine by his mother, who faints and throws her back out.  This causes the gang to embark on a contest to see who can go longest without pleasuring themselves.  Kramer is the first to lose, felled by a nudist across the street.  Elaine is next, felled by the thought of marrying JFK Jr., who see met at the health club.  Jerry dates a virgin, and when she is told of the contest, she immediately dumps him.  She leaves his apartment in a rage, causing an accident involving a Chinese delivery man and running into the arms of JFK Jr.  A winner of the contest is never revealed, but in "The Puffy Shirt", George claims victory.  In the series finale, George confesses to cheating.

Honorable Mention: "The Tape", S. 3; "The Red Dot", S. 3; "The Cafe", S. 3; "The Limo", S. 3; "The Letter", S. 3; "The Trip, pt. 2", S. 4; "The Cheever Letters", S. 4; "The Understudy", S. 6.

Controversy will ensue, I'm sure.  Have at it.      


Originally posted to mark louis on Sat Jun 27, 2009 at 11:36 AM PDT.


Favorite Seinfeld episode?

29%47 votes
5%8 votes
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8%13 votes
3%6 votes
3%6 votes
5%9 votes
3%6 votes
5%8 votes
31%50 votes

| 158 votes | Vote | Results

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