Hullo, we’r Pootie teh Precious and Woofie teh Younger. Our momz went away on vakashun without us :-(. Some of the stoodints taking care of Woofie tY and me were talkin’ and said teh faculty took our hoomans along in case they needed bale again to get home. We got worried then that they mights not come home if they din’t hav enuf bales so Woofie tY asted teh cows down teh rode when teh stoodint wuz walkin’ him if we could borrow some of their bales to get our hoomans back if we needed to and they said sure. Woofie tY sez they’re even bigger than he is, but they’z nice to lend us bales, maybe, if we needz’em. We like cowz. :-)
Some of teh stoodints r doin’ work/study in teh mailroom reeding the mail an’ lef it for us, (well, they lef’ it, anywayz, we think they’s sneekin’ into the hot tub Faculty Lounge, but maybees we'z wrong). One of the faculteez lef' her 'puter down here, too, so we can haz fun now.
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Dear Ms Pootie,
It’s despicable, (and I should know because I went to the real Cornell and so I know all sorts of big words), people are so mean to Sarah Palin because she’s kinda hot, and ya know, they all hate us kinda hot political women and try to keep us down so we won’t run the world, which we should, ya know, they just don’t understand how much better it would be if we did. And that’s the real reason, all that other stuff is just what they make up to try and make it seem like they’re not just jealous. Of course Sarah’s not as tall or reed thin and willowy and blond like me, but, still we’re hot and it’s all sour grapes.
Ann in Lala Land
Deer Ann,
Meow. Meow meow, mew meow! Meow mow mew MEOW.
PS Woofie tY sez you won’t hav trouble translating.
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Dear Ms Pootie,
It used to be so simple in the old days. You could always tell what party someone was in by what kind of scandal they were involved in. If it was lying, cheating, covering up or stealing something, it was a Republican, if it was sleeping somewhere they shouldn’t have, it was a Democrat. Now you need a scorecard to tell who’s doing what. If this is bipartisanship, I don’t like it.
Confused in West Blogistan
Deer Confused,
We always sleep in teh same place, itz jus' easier.
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Dear Ms Pootie,
Can you believe in this day and age that those children in summer camp were made to leave a pool that their camp had paid to use because of their color? What century is this again? Thankfully a better breed of people offered use of another pool so the children could have their summer camp experience. I’m so embarrassed that it happened near here.
Appalled in Pennsylblogistan
Deer Appalled,
Hooman kittens weren’t allowed to go somewhere b’cause they haz dif’rent colors? Thatz MEAN! Pooties and woozles haz lots of dif’rent colors, we don’ mind, it makes us intr’istin’. It’d be borin’ if all teh pooties and woozles and hoomans were all teh same colors, (hoomans r hard enuf to tell apart wifout tastin’ em).
Wait, what?. ..Ewwww! Woofie tY sez that he thinks ‘swim’ is somthin’ like ‘baf’, ewww! (Woofie tY doesn’t like bafs either, but mom makes him take’em when he’z found somthin’ reelly good to roll in). Our momz take bafs in the little room that getz w*t. Sometimes we watchez to makes sure she doesn’t get drownded. Woofie tY sez they do that ‘cause they’z handicappd’d, their tungez don’ reech far enuf to get’em all cleen so thay haz to use giant drinking bowlz or rain roomz to get cleen. It soundz like teh hoomans in Pennsylblogistan r teh same way. We guess hoomans r teh same ev'rywhere.
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Dear Ms Pootie,
I don’t understand all the fuss. Just because I had an affair with someone who worked for me, (Jeez, her husband did, too, lots of people did), and doubled both her salaries, and hired her son for ‘research’, all with someone else’s money. And then sent her a letter that my landlords made me write, (that I told her to ignore the next day on our date, because I only wrote it because they told me to, and I have to do everything they tell me to). And now people are upset because my mom and dad tried to help me by paying almost $100K to keep things quiet, (families are supposed to help each other and it wouldn’t have looked good if I paid them myself, image is important in my business). And just because I said that others should resign when they did scandalous stuff, these people want me to resign because I did. They don’t understand the difference, I have to stay here so my landlords can keep telling me how to vote and spread money and influence where they think it needs to be, I can’t quit just because I did the same stupid things that the others did. Look ho wmad everyone is at Sarah Palin for quitting
John in NV
Deer John,
Itz over, we wantz our votez back. One of the stoodints reeding this earlier kept sayin’ teh wordz ‘hypocrite’ and ‘hypocrisy’. We don’ know what they meanz, but teh stoodints seemed pritty shure.
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:::sigh::: Our hoomans ren't home yet. We hopez they'll be home soon, and that they're havin' a good time and don' need more balez.