By John Wilkes from Eyesonobama.com:
Sarah Palin followed through today on a promise to commit career suicide. She is survived by ongoing political scandals, ethics probes, and a mountain of unpaid legal defense bills. Those who miss her will remember her as they believe she'd want to be remembered: relevant.
Sarah Palin, the former Governor of Alaska and 2008 Republican Vice Presidential nominee, followed up yesterday on a promise to commit career suicide, ending a two year run as chief executive in the land of the midnight sun.
Palin's rise to the middle was as surprising as it was short. She burst on the political scene in 2007 as the former Mayor of Wasilla, winning the Republican nomination against a longtime fixture of Alaska politics, Frank Murkowksi, by "taking on members of her own party."
She is survived by ethics probes, political scandals, mounting legal bills, and political scandals surrounding how she paid for her mounting legal bills. Services for Palin's career were held in the form of picnics throughout her home state, where Palin continued to compare quitting her job as Governor to instances in which people don't quit, like when trout swim upstream ("only dead fish go with the flow"), and when good point guards drive to the hoop ("[they] keep [their] eye[s] on the basket").
Despite her insistance that she'll now be able to focus on bigger goals and projects (ostensibly the 2012 White House race), those who miss her will remember her as they believe she'd want to be remembered: relevant.
Like others who inspire so much for so many, Palin's career spawned big screen portrayals of the former governor, including an Emmy-nominated performance by Tina Fey, and another "biofiction" inspired by some true events, the moving and uplifting, "Nailin' Paylin," by renowned filmmaker Larry Flynt.
Much like the late (?) Elvis Presley, Palin's considerable band of colloquialism-loving followers theorize that rumors of the death of Palin's career are only a result of a conspiracy by the liberal media, and that Palin's career is alive and well. Already, there have been reported sightings of Palin's career on the book circuit, and the campaign trail.
Palin's career will be missed by dozens, but perhaps by no group more than late-night television hosts. ABC fixture David Letterman is said to be taking the news particularly hard.
In other political obituary news, Levi Johnson's 15 minutes of fame also died with Mrs. Palin's career.
Donations can be made to the EyesOnObama.com political fund, supporting candidates who run on platforms that are nothing like Mrs. Palin's.
SARAH PALIN'S CAREER, (2007-2009)