I started smoking when I was about sixteen, forty some odd years ago.
Back then Old Gold, Camel and other brands sponsored various TV shows, and everyone smoked & drank in the movies. Bogey lit 'em up for Bergman, & there was an ashtray on every flat surface. It was glamorous and wholesome!
GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or thinking of quitting, please -- join us! You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts.
Up until the early '80's Doctors and Nurses were smoking in ERs, and on hospital wards. Smoking and non-smoking areas of restaurants and airplanes were separated by one booth or one seating aisle. If you didn't smoke, you could not escape the blue haze.
Then a funny thing happened.
By the mid 80's things began to change. Non-smokers rebelled. They were sick of the smell of foul air in every corner. They started complaining & got smoking banned in public buildings. Smokers were pushed outside, so that today, people don't smoke inside their own homes! Berkeley recently attempted to pass an ordinance banning smoking in any public place, including your backyard, to which my BFF, who lives in Berkeley, said, "Nobody smokes in their house anymore!"
These developments have helped me enormously as I've reached this moment. My triggers are reduced to one or two, and they are avoidable. This has relieved the ritualistic element of quitting. Since I've had to go somewhere specific to smoke, I just have to avoid going there.
I've been smoking for over 40 years. And today I am done with it. Well almost. My quit date is August 20, but I am confident I have crossed the line, and I'll tell you why.
My epiphany came on Monday, July 20, 2009. That day I woke up, got my cup of coffee, went out to the garage and had my first smoke of the day. I had a coughing jag, but that was normal. I took my shower & got dressed for work.
Then I had an episode of shortness of breath* that I will never forget, and I hope to never experience again for as long as I live. It scared the bejeebus out of me. It gave me a window into what life would be if I didn't stop now. Let me tell you, I have had many vivid dreams, and many nightmares, but this was a wake-up call, from the grim reaper, & the message was, "I have a long, slow plan for you. This is just a preview."
I decided then and there that it was time to quit. I looked for my old nicotine patches from a few years ago, but couldn't find them. I went to work. Fortunately I work in a hospital, and the Pharmacist sent me a patch. I told him 14 mg was good enough b/c I didn't smoke that much at work. Just 3 or 4 quick smoke breaks over the night. Most of my smoking is right here in my garage, surfing the intertoobz.
I'm not smoke-free yet, but I'm cutting myself some slack, not beating up on myself for the occasional burning of a bone, but I am determined to kick this 40 year habit in a month. I may use patches and lozenges long after my last cigarette, but I swear I am determined to quit inhaling concentrated smog directly into my lungs.
I only have this last trigger space, which is sadly my computer station. I'm working on re-arranging the rituals, and heaven knows I don't want to smoke, but I think I'll have to move the mac inside, so there's no excuse, or else continue to limit web time. I'm doing alright at postponing it here. Not good enough, but okay.
I have managed to avert some of the urges by deciding to do other things first. Like I'll say. "OK, but do the dishes first," and such.
If you are struggling, just say, ok, but let's do this other thing first. Then when you've done that thing, the urge will have passed. And just keep diverting the urges with things you need to do first. It's a great way to get chores done, and it postpones any smoking you may be tempted to do. I'm putting my famous procrastination skills to work in this effort.
The less we smoke, the better, for you, me and everyone.
I've been a fool to have smoked for so long. But it's all over now. Gasping for air is so very not good. I have always had the constitution of a she-bear, and the prospect of not being able to breathe is truly frightening when you've had a preview.
The good news is I stopped hacking and wheezing on day one! I am amazed at how much better I feel after just one week and a half. I'm not coughing! Very cool. I like not coughing.
It gets better every day.
If you're still on the fence, you'll just get more splinters in your ass, (h/t to a kossack's grandad), so jump off, crush that old stinky stogey & let's get some fresh air!
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*Update:* Anyone (on or off the buddy list) is welcome to write a diary for GUS. If you are interested, please leave a comment in the Butt Can (tip jar).
NEW RULES: If you are looking for a current diary and the schedule has an open or snark entry, it is a go for it, first posted, first commented on situation.
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(Cross-posted at Street Prophets)