In the health care debate, much of the consternation from the right wing has come in the form of fear of "socialized medicine". I mean, who wants the States to turn into a stinking third-world cesspool like Canada? I mean, think of the millions of children who still haven't upgraded their Playstation 2! Many of their high-definition TV's are only 720p! They're practically in the stone age!
To match our primitive lifestyles here in the communist utopia I affectionately call "Toronto", we have a primitive health care system which involves single-payer provincial insurance, ridiculous 15 minute wait times for walk-in check-ups, mandatory service by physicians, and emergency rooms overrun with hangnails and restless leg syndrome. It's Stalin's wet dream. But this doesn't even begin to scratch the infected scab.
Let me inform you of some of the horrors that I have seen, read about, and/or experienced myself:
- I will never forget filling out my first prescription at the pharmacy. I went to the check-in desk, but I didn't know how it worked. So I ended up paying out-of-pocket for the prescription and obtained the receipt. I then submitted it to an asshole government bureaucrat, who thought it would be a funny prank to reimburse me. I became so depressed at this display of socialism run amok, that I took the money and spent it on a transit pass that I used to get to work. What can I say, I needed the pick-me-up, and it's better than having to see the doctor again.
- When I was attending university, I caught a bout of allergic rhinitis and had chronic issues with my sinuses. Because of the government's insidious habit of not letting me pay for pills, I maintained a nest egg in my savings account, and was therefore encouraged to pay my tuition and textbooks in their entirety, simply because I "had the means". Is this really the country John A. MacDonald envisioned?
- You want to hear about government bureaucrats? When I went to the walk-in clinic 18 months ago, I asked the doctor if I could have some antibiotics for a bacterial infection. The doctor said "sure, no problem". Unfortunately, there were 9 members of the Ontario Ministry of Health (7 of them "trainees") in the room, and they voted against it 6-3. I then asked for a saline solution, and they rejected it 7-2. I then asked to have the part of my spinal column responsible for feeling pain severed from the rest of my central nervous system, and they unanimously approved. I'm still waiting to hear from the surgeon as to when the surgery is scheduled for.
- 9 times out of 10, I will hear at least 1 person go to the check in desk to say "I'm here to see Dr. Egghead, purely for amusement". This easily adds 3 to 4 excruciating minutes to the average wait time.
- I have never, not even once, been prescribed the healing power of Jesus Christ to take care of my post-nasal drip.
- The leading cause of death amongst senior citizens from 1996-1999 was heart failure. Jean Chretien's death panel came in 2nd place.
- When Tommy Douglas drafted universal health care for Saskatchewan, the number of cases of government-sanctioned euthanasia in the previous 46 years was 0 per year. In the 46 years since its implementation, the number of cases, on average, was 0 per year. That's a statistical increase of 487%.
Still not convinced you should fear a Canada-style health-care system? As a citizen of a country that the GOP likes to demonize to score shallow political points, I just have to laugh to keep my brain from leaking out of my ears (which, thankfully, is covered, if I'm ever in a not-so-jaunty mood). I wonder how many people actually take the extremist GOP talking points seriously? The same percentage of people who believe that a birth announcement in a Hawaiian newspaper is proof of Kenyan citizenship?