From Mt. Vernon, Illinois, where the town slogan is, "We're not nearly as boring as Mt. Carmel, Illinois"........
I'm out here to do some relief work for one of my longtime clients, Lamczyk Veterinary Clinic. Kevin and JoLynn have been very good to me over the years, and I'm always happy to be out here. I'm also happy to be awake, and ready to work--unlike most of our attendees at Netroots Nation 09! We hope the hangovers aren't bad this morning (I had a near-humdinger last Friday night) and that this will bring a smile to your face.
Cheers and Jeers begins, with news from around the nation, around the world, and up your alley! ("Up my alley?" Up yours!)
DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, pie references, pootie pics, lusty wenches, mattress references, whomps, moist, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
NOTE: In deference to our returned NN09 attendees, I ask all our readers to refrain from using saucepans and wooden spoons, or crash cymbals, or jackhammers, for at least this morning. Boat horns, however, are permitted, and their use is encouraged.
Doc's Bad Joke of the Week
(in the gray box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!"
A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place.
When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck.
No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
Some Cheers for my host city today:
Cheers to enlightenment in Mt. Vernon. This LTE appeared in the local paper, the Mt. Vernon Register-News:
Before people can have a legitimate debate on the proposed reforms, they have to be able to separate fact from fiction and judge the bill on its merits, not based on what special interests or radio talk show hosts tell them is in it.
In an effort to perform a public service, I’d like to offer a primer on proposed healthcare reforms to dispel any of the myths out there surround the debate.
Ashley Duncan
Mt. Vernon
Read the whole thing. It's (mostly) well done, and much better than the tripe I see in the weekly shopper published in town. Fact-based pushback in rural Illinois gives me hope that we can get a public option through!
Cheers to National Railway Equipment in Mt. Vernon, for winning an order for 14 new "green" N-viro-motive locomotives that use smaller, ultra-clean diesel generators--the same technology used in new locomotives delivered previously for California service to meet California EPA standards. That's $21.6 million for the local economy, and much of that comes from stimulus funds.
And Elsewhere in the Snooze:
Jeers to Glenn Beck on my Daily Kos. I'd love for Walmart to stop advertising on his show as much as the next guy, but I'm really getting tired of that maudlin face of Glenn's staring at me from the sidebar! (And does anyone really think that Wally World is going to stop advertising on Glenn Beck? Heh. His audience is their demographic, after all!)
Cheers to exploding stereotypes. Who said that Republicans (OK, Tories in this case) hate the arts? The zookeepers at West Midlands Safari Park in blighty old England discovered that Five, one of their elephants, not only could play the harmonica, but appeared to be creating music of a sort. Let's just hope she doesn't pick up on the Air Supply catalog for inspiration!
Jeers to going for the cheap laugh. A pregnant Holstein cow escaped at the Kalamazoo County Fair. As you might expect, hilarity ensued--and, of course, the local paper had to go for the low-hanging fruit:
Udder chaos as pregnant cow bolts to freedom at the Kalamazoo County Fair
The writer then proceeds to milk the story for all it's worth. I think the cow was smarter than the genius who thought moving a pregnant cow at a crowded county fair was a great idea.
(True-ish story: in my fourth year of veterinary school, we were required to do a 20-minute "grand rounds" presentation on either a case or on a disease. I floated the idea of doing "Mastitis: An Udder Catastrophe" with my advisor, who then advised me in the strongest possible terms that it was a bad idea. My proposal for "Cystitis: Urine For a Special Treat" garnered the same response.)
Jeers to Alton High School band directors going where they don't belong. For the second year in a row, an AHS band director has been arrested and brought up on charges. The Marching 100 may become the Running 100 (as in running from the band directors) if this keeps up. (The current acting band director was charged with a misdemeanor battery count in 2007--charges were dropped, and he still works at AHS)
Cheers to.....the Belleville News-Democrat? Yes, the paper that usually brings the right-wing crazy, from cartoonist Glenn McCoy to absolutely wacky wingnutty LTEs, actually published an editorial debunking the "kill Grandma" myth. OK, they didn't hit back that hard, but the right-wing rag actually debunking a right-wing talking point is something to celebrate.
And Now, a word from our sponsor:
Jeers to possibly greedy Lutherans. The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod is looking at selling KFUO-FM, a St. Louis station that has played classical music as their format for the last 61 years, to Joy FM, which broadcasts Christian contemporary music. Joy FM has made an $18 million dollar offer versus an $8 million dollar bid made by a consortium led by the Radio Arts Board that would maintain KFUO-FM as a classical station. Given that the St. Louis Symphony is still rebuilding from near-financial ruin, and that KFUO-FM is an important part of their marketing efforts, there is great concern at Powell Hall. We really don't need one more Christian schlock music station in this market!
Jeers to....well, just look at it for yourself. It actually is an interesting commentary on how well-meaning gun control laws can be gotten around, even with just a color change. (via Mike's Blog Roundup on Crooks and Liars)
Cheers to eternal truths, as reported in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:
[W]e now know that it’s probably a bad idea to chase one’s spouse around with a sword and spear, particularly if that spouse is likely to give sheriff’s deputies permission to search a home that also contains 17 rifles and a live grenade, all the more so if that grenade damages equipment when law enforcement authorities detonate it. If one is considering a sex-change operation, that only adds to the potential issues.
These are lessons they don’t teach you in school.
Ummmm.....ya think?
Prissy, the clinic cat at Mt. Carmel Animal Hospital, says, "Hit that reco button, or I kick your ass!" along with, "Why do the humans laugh at me?"
Bill will be back at the helm tomorrow, assuming he recovers in time from NN09! Meantime, the floor is open!