As the great Sarah Palin says "In honor of the American soldier, let's stop making things up!" so I am not going to hide the truth any longer about the Democrats' motivations for attempting to reform health care for Americans.
It's official! Cleverly hidden in the legislative language of H.R. 1138 is a provision to spend at least $77 TRILLION DOLLARS on the Obamacare Death Star which is scheduled to destroy Earth on October 10th, 2010 or "O-Day." Darth Barack's true agenda is now clear: The death of each and every living organism and the destruction of our beloved home planet itself!
Read on for more horrific details and facts that are more frightening than startling a wounded Gundark!
Some say that, since he never could produce a birth certificate, Obama is secretly an evil Sith Lord in disguise who has come to eliminate the human race under the guise of providing universal health care. His hypocrisy must be as strong as the force! It is said that his ultimate decision to destroy the Earth came while attempting to get valuable information from a female "domestic terrorist" who had been caught attempting to protest at one of Emperor Obama's Coruscant city-planet-hall meetings. Without some sort of rebellion, led by a forgotten son that is somehow able to find the one weakness (which is hopefully left open) in the Obamacare Death Star to exploit, then we are doomed.
More facts about Obamacare to worry about before our ultimate demise on O-Day:
- At the age of 65, seniors are thrown into a Sarlacc Pit.
- It outlaws private bounty hunters by providing a Empire-run system making it impossible to compete. (Thanks to a tip from Mr. Bob A. Fett)
- The disabled and handicapped are frozen in Carbonite indefinitely.
- Expect massive cuts to Mon Calamari-care.
- The Empire will have direct, real-time access to individual galactic credits standard accounts.
- Wookies are not covered under any circumstances.
- A R2 unit will perform your colonoscopy.
- Yoda is forced to speak using a linear sentences structure.
- They will issue a mandatory Imperial ID Holocron that will spy on you.
- Jar Jar Binks will be your Health Czar.
- Emperor Obama has dozens of Czars or "Darths."
- Blaster and Lightsaber wounds are considered pre-existing conditions.
- Clone-marriage is legalized.
- Tauntauns used for emergency warmth AND preventative dental care?!
- Illegal Ewoks are fully covered.
- There's not enough Imperial credits to cover the entire galaxy so expect tax increases on your Speeder Bike.
- Greedo shoots first, asks questions later.
- Public money would be used to fund a Rancor Pit under Jabba's palace.
- There will be an Empire between you and your Medical Droid.
I wrote this today after seeing another diary mentioning the Obamacare "Death Star" so I can't take complete credit for the concept. Thanks for the inspiration! I put some of these out on Twitter under #obamacarefacts which is a real hoot.