Once upon a time there was a wolf who was the biggest and strongest and boldest and baddest and best wolf in the whole forest.
All he wanted was to enjoy his God-given right to roam free and independent and gobble up whatever naturally came in his way.
Everything was fine until this little girl came into the forest.
She was wearing a red cloak and hood, and carried a basket over one arm. When the wolf spotted her, she was picking some flowers, looking small and weak and harmless. WHAT A CHEAT!
"Hello, my dear," said the wolf, thinking no evil. "What are you doing in my forest and what do you have in that basket?"
"I’m on my way to bring my sick Granny some goodies," said the girl. "I think she’d like these flowers, too." SOCIALISM!
The wolf knew he had just one chance to save the forest. Maybe he could snatch the basket and scare the girl off. "Let me walk along with you," he offered.
"Oh, no, thank you, I am not supposed to talk to strangers," the HATE-FILLED child replied. There was a RAVENOUS glint in her eye.
The wolf raced off to Granny’s house deep in the woods. He knocked at the door, and a weak-sounding voice called out, "Come in." WHAT A LIAR!
The wolf approached the bed. There lay an old woman in a TERRIFYING lace cap.
"Come closer, my dear, so I can see you," whispered the elderly dame. When the wolf took one step, GRANNY LEAPED OUT OF BED AND GOBBLED THE WOLF ALL UP!
Soon after, Red Riding Hood came to the door. She and the old lady chortled together about the wolf. "But Granny, I wish you had saved me a leg at least!" the girl giggled.
The wolf’s desperate screams had caught the ear of a man chopping wood nearby. The woodcutter looked in at the open door, saw the bloody scene, PULLED OUT HIS AK-47 AND BLEW THE FIENDS AWAY.
The rescuer axed open the bloated stomach of the old lady and found the wolf still alive. He then invited the unfortunate predator to his own house for a soothing cup of tea.
MORAL: Eat the innocent before they eat you.