Yes I have a confession to make.
I have been caught in the act of worrying. Talking aloud of my doubt on progressives' resolution for meaningful health care reform with a public option. I have been caught wondering aloud if Obama is not going to go to the mat for his campaign statements on a public option.
I've even been criticized twice, TWICE in the past 24 hours of using Republican rhetoric.
And you know what?
That's okay.
This is a community. We let each other know where we're falling on the continuum as we hold up mirrors to each other. It's a public service. It's all good, babeh.
I admit, though...I've never been blessed with being of one mind on anything.
I suspect that's true with most folks.
I oscillate between yes and no, and roll through enough "on the other hand" thoughts to make an octopus feel an inadequate bartender.
It's true. Sometimes the notion creeps in that even the best intentioned of our reps are incapable of doing the right thing because they don't know what's going on down here on a visceral level. The kind of level you feel when you wake up at 2 AM with your heart pounding in anxiety. Or he level you feel when you're distracted while spending time with your children or significant other...the mind exits to a giant white board of tasks to be accomplished and bill triage to be jockeyed in order to make it through the week so your kid can have the illusion of stability. It's all about appearances. Always has been.
Yes. Sometimes I wonder about that. I wonder if a man who has been a law professor, a state senator, and the prez of the Harvard Law Review remembers in his bones the anxiety of underinsurance, or uninsurance.
I don't question his goodness.
I don't question his intention.
Hell...most of the time I don't even question his ability to empathize.
But sometimes...
SOME times my mind "on the other hands" its way over to that concern that despite his best intentions Obama is disconnected. Despite his best intentions, he's at best academically aware of why this public option thing is so damn dear to our hearts.
I admit.
I have doubt sometimes.
I wish I could say I was a constant stalwart. Unwavering. Unflinching. Always keeping the faith.
But that's not me.
And lately, with the stress and the passions and the sleeplessness, the convection of ifs and whatifs is churning faster. With all that's at stake my heart starts to beat and I want my reps to jump for the jugular, fangs and claws full out. Make an obvious bolt for the end zone...screw everything, just GO! GO! GO!
I realize in politics and life the fastest point between A and B generally isn't a direct run from A to B. Though the path may look clear, it's often the slipperiest route most fortified by opposition.
I'm not going to lie. I'm concerned about this whole health care reform thing. There's really no solid win in these cards for the Dems. But there could be a solid win for the American people.