Labor Day is when we take a break from joblessness to celebrate employees of American companies toiling away in Chinese sweatshops and Indian call centers. Dump Labor Day. It celebrates the workingman. That’s for Socialists. Plus it’s too much work. Replace it with Executive Bonus Day. Eliminate The Estate Tax Day. Or Funny Things Comes In Threes Day.
Even Labor Day wasn’t made in America. It’s imported from The People’s Republic Of Canada where healthcare is considered a right. Yuck. Canadians. This century, Canadians elected two prime ministers from the Liberal Party. And Britain’s current prime minister represents the Labour Party. Labour’s not a right, it’s a privilege; bad, low paying jobs easily shipped overseas by pressing a button. And that button is made in Mexico.
Unlike Third World nations Canada and Britain, America irretrievably links jobs to healthcare. Lose your job, lose your insurance. Your livelihood means your life. Which is why America has a saying, “Where else you gonna go? I can find 200 other guys willing to do your job faster and cheaper. Now back in your hole!” It’s inscribed on the Statue Of Liberty.
And if Americans do find work they lack time to think, read, or enjoy the Jeffersonian vision of a participatory democracy where labor would be linked to the seasons. The smartest people I know are unemployed. Which is why they were fired in the first place. Don’t think, work.
American workers are exactly where corporations want us; underemployed, ignorant, and terrified, convinced everything will be fine if we just purchase more stuff. Two thirds of our economy is buying stuff. Our job is to consume. Labor Day once featured parades. Now we shop and eat. So don’t mock that fat family waddling through the mall this Labor Day. They’re our hardest working Americans.