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Folks, I am sorry that I did not post the regular Pique the Geek here last evening.

Things are going poorly for me.

This week, Wednesday, Mrs. Translator goes to the court to become the former Mrs. Translator. That is a sad thing for me.

I still require employment, and applied to four different places yesterday.  Not any word back, but it is the weekend.

To top things off, a childhood friend of mine was killed in a traffic accident Saturday.  My dear aunt JoAnne called me around 1:00 PM Sunday afternoon to break the news.

So this has not been the start of a good week.  I promise to come back next week and write a good post about why water is a very wonderful material, but I just did not have the heart to do it tonight.

I write this to try to work around my grief.  Everyone here, almost without exception, has been very supportive, and I appreciate it.  I will let you know when the decree becomes active.

Sad, but warmest regards,

Doc

Crossposted at Dochudharma.com

I apologize if this makes a better post scroll off of the page.

Originally posted to Translator on Sun Sep 13, 2009 at 11:11 PM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Please, no tips nor recs (20+ / 0-)

    for this.

    Warmest regards,

    Doc

    Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

    by Translator on Sun Sep 13, 2009 at 11:11:29 PM PDT

  •  So sorry, Doc. (7+ / 0-)

    Tipped anyway, b/c you need a bit of cheering up, I think.

    But that's about all I can do, except to add: endure.  Get through it.  I'm so sad Mrs. Doc is bent on pursuing the divorce.

    GOP: Turning the U.S. into a banana republic since 1980

    by Youffraita on Sun Sep 13, 2009 at 11:31:34 PM PDT

    •  Please know that we are not, and never (6+ / 0-)

      will be, enemies.

      We are just better off living apart.  That way we do not annoy each other as much.  She needs to get on with her life, and I do not begrudge that at all.

      Warmest regards,

      Doc

      Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

      by Translator on Sun Sep 13, 2009 at 11:37:44 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Sorry to hear this doc (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Translator

        I find myself in the same boat; MrsMK decided over the weekend that she's had quite enough of me.

        We have a lot to disentangle, however we are committed to settling things amicably.

        What's so strange is that we really do love each other; we've just been getting on each other's nerves more an more over the past few years.

        A sad situation all around.

        "I am not the first President to take up this cause, but I am determined to be the last." - President Barack Obama, 9/9/2009

        by MKinTN on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 06:52:07 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  I fully understand. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          MKinTN

          I have this suggestion before any:  give each a week or two cooling off period before anything becomes permanent.

          With that said, if you have to go through with it, keep being kind to each other.  Teena and I almost got into harsh words over the telephone a couple of months ago, and I just hung up the telephone.

          I called her the next evening to apologize for hanging up, and she agreed that it was the best thing to do because it prevented harsh, emotional, and unnecessary words to be exchanged.  I do not advocate hanging up on folks, but sometimes it is the better alternative.

          Yes, disentanglement is HARD!  It is likely that it will never be complete, but a work in progress.  Do the two of you have minor children?  That complicates it.

          The most important thing that I can say is for you both to continue to love each other.  Friends at a distance is a much better scenario than enemies at any length.  May I ask how long you have been married?  It was 32.5 years for us.

          I wish nothing but the very best for you and your mate.  You both sound like nice folks, so PLEASE do not allow rage to influence your decisions.

          I care.  I do not often do this, but you can call me at 859 626 5029 if you decide to talk.  I will be in the bed in a few minutes, but will be up and about around 8:00 AM.  I have that tree to dismember and make good meat smoking wood out of it.

          Others here, please do not HR this comment just to cover up my telephone number.  I fully realize what I am doing.  That gives a location, but I really do not care.

          Warmest regards,

          Doc

          Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

          by Translator on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 10:27:57 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Sorry for the late reply (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Translator

            We've been married six years; she has children from a previous marriage, the youngest is 16.

            We rushed right through the "harsh words" phase in less than two days (a couple of harsh texts in there too...ahh, technology) but since then cooler heads have prevailed.  We spent most of Sunday morning talking things out, calmly.  What came out (which has come out before) is that we have more things NOT in common than we do have in common, and these are things we hold in our cores.  For example, we both have very strong ethics ("being fair and playing by the rules"); on the other hand, I lived the bachelor life for so long that I developed a need to have and be around friends - her, not so much...which leads to jealousy, paranoia, bitterness, and loneliness, none of which I wish upon her, all of which I'm sick and tired of.

            So there you have it Doc.  I have at least convinced her to take this part slow instead of rushing headlong into it.  I appreciate your offer to talk with me.  I'm OK right now, albeit somewhat sad when I think about the prospect of not having her (and her kids and our grandchild) close in the future (she mentioned moving out of town).

            This will be my second divorce.  The first one was somewhat easier (relatively speaking) as we became extremely contemptuous of each other at the end (luckily we were able to agree to terms without a court fight).  This, on the other hand, is uncharted territory since the two of us still love each other.

            Life is funny that way sometimes.

            "I am not the first President to take up this cause, but I am determined to be the last." - President Barack Obama, 9/9/2009

            by MKinTN on Tue Sep 15, 2009 at 02:56:17 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  My heart goes (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              MKinTN

              to you, and to your shambles of a family.  You have a very difficult situation.  Our kids were over 18, and we chose not to scream at each other.

              I just sent half of the property to her.

              If you need to talk, call 859 626 5029.  To others here that want to shield me, no need to hide rate his comment. I know what I am doing.

              Warmest regards,

              Doc

              Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

              by Translator on Tue Sep 15, 2009 at 10:52:40 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  Thanks for your kind words (0+ / 0-)

                As I mentioned, all the screaming (there wasn't much...not my style) is over.  We'll be OK in the long run, it's just really, really weird (uncomfortable?) right now.

                "I am not the first President to take up this cause, but I am determined to be the last." - President Barack Obama, 9/9/2009

                by MKinTN on Wed Sep 16, 2009 at 01:29:53 PM PDT

                [ Parent ]

  •  OK, no tips or recs - as you requested (9+ / 0-)

    Still, lots of sincere sympathy, Doc.

    I hope you are as well as possible.

    "So, please stay where you are. Don't move and don't panic. Don't take off your shoes! Jobs is on the way."

    by wader on Sun Sep 13, 2009 at 11:36:25 PM PDT

  •  Tipped and reccd (5+ / 0-)

    whether you like it or not.

    Hang in there, buddy.  Always remember that we're here for you.  

    I've had a rotten 2 weeks so I can relate - sucks big time when bad stuff happens all at once or in rapid succession, but things will get better for both of us.  Right now you're feeling like the guy in Lil Abner that walked around with the rain cloud over his head.  Better days are coming.

    Those who yell do so because their arguments are so weak they can only be supported by massive amounts of hot air. Sue, West Allis, Wisconsin

    by Puddytat on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 12:13:27 AM PDT

    •  That was Virgil (0+ / 0-)

      Bzplik, or some such.  Al Capp was a good cartoonist, but was sort of the Limbaugh of his day.  Most folks do not know that he quit commentating when he was threatened with being exposes for being a fan of little (pre teen) boys.

      Things will be OK.  Teena is still not only a friend, but my best one and will be until I draw my last breath.

      I hope that things get better for you, as well.

      Warmest regards,

      Doc

      Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

      by Translator on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 01:45:16 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  I wish my slow-in-coming divorce... (4+ / 0-)

    was more like yours, but my (I can't wait to be ex) husband is a very angry person, so it's gotten very ugly (BIG SIGH).
    Anyway, I am always rooting for you Translator, and I hope things look up for the both of us very soon.
    (((HUGS)))

    "Imagine all the people, Living life in peace..." -John Lennon

    by angrybird on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 12:52:13 AM PDT

    •  I am extremely sorry (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      angrybird

      that your process has become ugly.  It is painful enough even when folks are not shouting at each other.

      I wish you (and your former mate, because anger hurts the angry person the most) well.  I will think good thoughts for you.

      Thank you for the very nice wishes that you sent my way.  I shall divert some towards Teena as well.

      Warmest regards,

      Doc

      Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

      by Translator on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 01:47:37 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Warm wishes from a passer by... (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Translator, myrealname, princesspat

    .... may the autumn sun shine on you....

    Peace.

    "There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -- Leonard Cohen

    by Amaryliss on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 01:14:50 AM PDT

    •  Thank you very much. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Amaryliss

      Next week, Sunday at 9:00 PM, I promise that a new, interesting installment in the wonder of science called Pique the Geek will return.  This one will be about the marvelous and unexpected properties of water, with graphics!

      Warmest regards,

      Doc

      Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

      by Translator on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 01:49:11 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Some virtual hugs... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Translator, myrealname

    perhaps?

    It sounds like you've got a full emotional plate.  

    A divorce is sad, even when you know it's the right thing, and sadder still obviously, when you don't believe it is.

    I hope you get good news on the job front very soon.

    And I'm so very sorry about your friend.

    (Sadly, in Kathmandu no longer.)

    by American in Kathmandu on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 01:53:06 AM PDT

    •  Thank you, my friend. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      sberel, myrealname

      I will be OK, and so will Teena.  It is just sort of sad for almost 35 years and three great boys to end up this way, but it is 98% my fault.

      I will find work, some way.

      The thing about Bill (my friend who was killed) is that he is the guy that everyone knows and marvels because he had not died even much earlier.  As my other friend Rex said this afternoon (I broke the news to him, and we all three have known each other since at least the fifth grade, Rex and I since the first grade) he would not be surprised that Bill hit a bridge abutment on a motorcycle at 100 mph and killed himself, but to be sitting there minding his own business and get hit from the rear was extremely unexpected.

      As my granddad always said, your life just hangs by a hair.

      Thank you for the kind words.

      Warmest regards,

      Doc

      Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

      by Translator on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 01:59:53 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  No tips no recs, per your request (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Translator, princesspat

    but you have my sympathy, if that helps.

    •  Thanks, my friend. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      plf515

      It could be much worse.  We could be screaming at each other, and we are not.  We are being loving to each other, so as I said, it could be much worse.

      Warmest regards,

      Doc

      Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

      by Translator on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 04:21:39 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  We're with you. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Translator

    I know virtual hugs and pep talks are pretty lame, but we care about you and want to support you in any way we can.  I'm glad you let us know why you didn't post Pique last night, but don't feel obligated.  We all just do what we can to get by.

    I'm so sorry about your marriage and your friend.  That's a lot of grieving to do all at once.  Lean on us.  We're here for you.  LL

    -7.62, -7.28 "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." -Langston Hughes

    by luckylizard on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 04:45:18 AM PDT

    •  This communmity, and the one at (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      luckylizard

      dharma, kept me alive during the worst bits.  This is nothing, just the logical conclusion, although it is a bitter cup out of which to sip.

      I promise that the Geek will have a dynamite post next Sunday to show everyone why water is not only unique, but essential to life as we understand it.

      Thank you for being so supportive.  Never forget that Teena is a wonderful person.  As I said earlier, anyone who says differently gets a punch straight in the nose.

      Warmest regards,

      Doc

      Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

      by Translator on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 04:49:54 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  From your prior descriptions (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Translator

        of her, she sounds like a great lady.  It's too bad when people get to a place where they can't be together.  I'm particularly sympathetic right now because my sister is going through a mess.  Her husband has lost his mind and is carrying on with a Canadian woman he "met" online.  He's taken off several times and would be perfectly happy to maintain the status quo.  She still loves him but can't continue to do this craziness.  It's all very strange and very sad.

        Looking forward to learning more about water.  It's often the most basic things that are the greatest miracles.  LL

        -7.62, -7.28 "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." -Langston Hughes

        by luckylizard on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 04:56:29 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  The computer can be a menace to (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          luckylizard

          domestic relationships, as can the workplace.  But there must be a seed already or neither of those would cause discord.

          I wish the best for your sister, and for her husband as well.  It takes two, at least, to go into hell.  I know that she is going through a tough time.  Do they have children?

          Water is amazing.  Of all chemical compounds, it is the most bizarre and the most unique.  I just did not have the strength to post Sunday, but if you bear with me I truly believe that you will be astonished about its qualities.  It should not even exist in its normal form, just to give you a hint.

          Thanks for the very kind words.  Teena is more than a great lady, she is also a huge intellect, although sometimes she does not even realize it.  But I know that she is.

          Warmest regards,

          Doc

          Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

          by Translator on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 05:03:36 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  They have grown daughters. (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Translator

            Her husband was a young widower.  She raised those children as her own.  You are correct about the seed.  He's always had problems with anxiety, depression, and extreme jealousy, but was a good guy.  Something snapped.  No one, including his mother, recognizes this man.

            OK.  You've got me hooked.  Can't wait to find out about water!  You're going to throw more chemical diagrams at me again, though, aren't you?  :-)  Take care and, as mother used to say, chin up.

            -7.62, -7.28 "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." -Langston Hughes

            by luckylizard on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 05:32:58 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  •  I am so sorry you are feeling so blue. Sometimes (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Translator

    life's challenges just do that to all of us. While I missed your diary last night, it is more important for you to regain your personal balance than it is for you to write for our pleasure and education. So don't add stress to your life worrying about that.

    My best wishes to you. Please take care.

    Love is the lasting legacy of our lives

    by princesspat on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 03:30:00 PM PDT

    •  You did not miss it. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      princesspat

      I did not post it.

      Next week's one will challenge your fundamental understanding about everything, especially when you get a drink of water.

      Thanks for being such a nice companion for so long.

      Warmest regards,

      Doc

      Time for real health care reform, not just to patch the patches.

      by Translator on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 10:30:44 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Completely understand. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Translator

    It's hard keeping up a weekly series to begin with, when things get difficult you just need a break from it.

    None of us are perfect, nor de we expect perfection from anyone else.

    I hope you feel better soon, Doc.

    مرگ بر دیکتاتور[down with the dictator] (e-10.00, s-8.87)

    by Texas Revolutionary on Mon Sep 14, 2009 at 06:19:57 PM PDT

  •  So sorry (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Otteray Scribe

    for your loss(es).

    My wish for you is that better days come quickly.

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