A few days ago, my mother had a mild stroke. It was so mild that she walks about as well as she could before. She has a bit of trouble speaking and no trouble eating beyond appetite. After five days in the hospital, they released her -- again, no argument because she was walking about the wing unassisted and telling the nurses that she wanted out.
I guess I should be counting my blessings. The stroke was mild, even though a police department which shall go nameless told me that she was in the ambulance en route to the hospital when she was still in her house and I spent ten very long minutes with a kind hospital receptionist looking for a misplaced patient who would not answer her phone.
Still, I'm getting scared, probably for selfish reasons. After a scary summer, I was admitted to a Ph. D. program at the university where I received a Master's, about 85 miles from her house. She is deathly afraid to be left alone, but I need to attend classes and use the lab facilities. I'm also tired, writing at 2 am local time.
I have started the paperwork to bring home services to her house. Again, she can talk, walk, cook, wash herself as far as the arthritis permits and even drive. Too bad she drove to the store because she did not think I was coming back (I was 20 minutes away and en route when her call did not go through.); she tried to make me feel like shit when she came back, then forgot and forgave within an hour. (She forgets things every now and then -- it's a bit spooky yet, strangely enough, lets her see certain beautiful things with fresh eyes.)
The question is now whether to continue the Ph. D. program, or move back. She is adamant that I continue, yet adamant that I stick around her house as long as possible, and while the professors are understanding, this understanding cannot last long until it devolves into favoritism. I want to continue, but these fights twice a week are getting to me, and we've only had four. We have a 16-year history of her trying to control me and me offering some resistance to this control; a stroke changes this dynamic.
Does anybody have advice for caring for a parent with memory issues and/or aphasia (forgetting words of a sentence)? I'm the only family member within 500 miles.