If Celebrity Deathmatch were still on the air, we might get what I'm purporting to sell. As it has left the airwaves, we must have this delicious piece of snark pie.
If Newt Gingrich wanted to make a serious run at our President's second term, he would do well to do it soon, and launch it alongside mystic Ms. Palin. The result would be catastrophically hilarious, and I think Newt & Sarah's little gems should be standard water-cooler talk.
Newt, if you're reading this, as an avid purveyor of other people's ideas, you should draw up little GOP tattoos with a giant red heart, with Newt & Sarah in the center, an elephant rearing on 2012, and Who Loves America? ringing it. You can call it the first season that any Republican really loved America anywhere.
Ranting aside, here's Net's plagiarized version of revisioning America. Cheers.
1000 Characters or Less to Save the World (from Obama)
Newts Tweets is now online! BARACKOBAMAISAJACKASS
He is slaughtering Democracy, one diabetes-ridden child at a time.
When your state's Medicare coffers run low, his team of jackbooted thugs will come to your home and burn your fat little pig-child on your front lawn, for all the neighbors to see.
Just look at the bankers, rolling in cash as you people wallow in debt. We Republicans would've fought that tooth and nail, until we'd forced the Democrats to concede their stupid agenda. Back in '93 we stopped another round of meaningful healthcare reform, and if that were a boxing match, we'd be two rounds up with a period of fifteen years. Rocky got more time than that and he managed to kick ass. Where is Barack Obama?
The truth is we bought him out of the bargaining process. There is nothing you can do, America will have no public option for the "poor and oppressed." You gotta PAY for it, freeloader!
--PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ELECT NEWT GINGRICH, 2012--
...not with a bang, but with a whimper.