There follows questions centered on ifs.
Clue: I have no answers.
Short list below the fold.
If tea bags are a political statement, what is loose leaf tea?
If Obama is a Rock Lobster, what is Cheney?
If Right Wing Nutjobs make sense, what was the Revolutionary War about?
If caring for all is Socialism or Communism -- take your pick, what is christianity about?
If the sun don't shine, is one's head involved in a colonoscopy?
If Limbaugh is a voice of reason, what is math?
If everything the Right says is whacked out, what difference does an identifying name make?
If the decisions of world leaders are not good for humankind, what are the world leaders?
If pro-life is the mainstay, what is wrong with equal and even free healthcare for all?
If there is no assured moment in life, is Insurance an oxymoron?
If Insurance is betting you will lose, what can the odds of winning be?
If politics is only rivaled by prostitution for tenure, why not bite the apple the snake gave Eve and throw away the fig leaf?
If conservatives are the new radicals, what are the old radicals?
If conservatives are going to act like radicals, are they willing to go to jail, too?
If ethics are the cause of unethical behavior, what is wrong with the picture?
If "if" causes things to happen, what stops things from happening?
If a red light means to stop, why aren't rightwingers turning green, or at least yellow?
If Nature abhors a vaccuum, why don't wingnuts feel universally abhored?
If Life is a bowl of cherries, is getting centered the pits?