With all the "taking America back" work going on via the revisionist Conservative Bible translation project being held in much anticipation, we wish to slake the appetites of the faithful with a little preview of conservative revised biblical canon in a new-fangled interactive illustrated form.
Or, conversely, "Revisionist Conservative Christianity for Dummies: Now in Pictures!" It's an interactive clickfest of Christ the Risen Revisioned!
There are two great forces fighting out the war of Armageddon today, my Friends, RIGHT HERE on the World Wide (One Gubbment) Anti Inter-Christ.
Yea, one is the Way and the Truth and the Light...and the other is Evil, Yucky, and Melts in Your Hands, Not in Your Mouth. Yes, I'm talking about that evil twin Satanist satirizing site. Do not go there...If you cherish your revised soul.
What in apoplexy am I yammering about you quiver and question?
Why only the most amazing art project/interactive roll-over description masterpiece of our end times! What rapture!
The Gallery to God is in sight just beyond the fold....
Behold and be breathless, Birfer Brefhren:
McNaughton Fine Art Company presents "One Nation Under God." [Google cache]
(And we'll even throw in some smartypants librul's companion interpretation site, in case the moonbats can't read American.)
Either site, original or satirical, just seek the painting, roll your mouse over any portrait, and you shall find the truth. Every face you roll over yields a home-schooling treasure of truth. Complete with the List of Symbolism for your kitchen table teaching pleasure.
Which version of roll-over comments are the Godly Goo-Goo Cluster of goodness, and which are the satirical scribblings of Satan?
You be the (activist) judge!
Step right up Revisionist Christians! Let's kick this Holy Tea Party and Gallery Showing off with a little "whine and cheezus". The man, the myth, the legend Himself....
Yessss! It's none other than the Official Right Wing Savior, Jesus H.[e's only for religious radicals] Christ! (Give it up for the Lordster!)
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Jesus Christ [original site]: He wears a golden robe to symbolize His position as the God of all creation. He points to the U.S. Constitution, to the boy, and to the mother and beyond to emphasize their important role in the preservation of our country.
Jesus Christ [satire site]: He basically looks like Aaron Eckhart. You know, that guy who played Two-Face and the smoking guy? This is what Jews looked like in the first century.
And now...for Jesus' Olympic Dream Team, which as we all know, would nevah play at any Chicago games, I give you America's Culture Icons. Icons? Iz OK. Czars? Not so much.
[The figures on the dais with Christ.]
U.S. Constitution [original site]: Inspired of God and created by God fearing, patriotic Americans.
U.S. Constitution [satire site]: Nobody's ever read it, but they sure know what it says!
Thomas Jefferson [original site]: One of the most influential of the Founding Fathers.
Thomas Jefferson [satire site]: "Question with boldness even the existence of a God..." He was basically an atheist. He edited his own version of the Bible that removed all the miracles and God stuff, leaving nothing but the hippie crap. What the hell is he doing here?
George Washington [original site]: The commander of the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War and the first President of the United States, often referred to as the "Father of our Country."
George Washington [satire site]: "...on the days when the sacrament of the Lord's Supper was to be administered, Washington's custom was to arise just before the ceremony commenced, and walk out of the church."
Benjamin Franklin [original site]: A leading Founding Father and statesman. He was respected and held a position second only to George Washington as the Champion of American Independence.
Benjamin Franklin [satire site]: "Lighthouses are more helpful than churches."
John Adams [original site]: Second President of the United States and one of the most influential of the Founding Fathers.
John Adams [satire site]: "God is an essence that we know nothing of. Until this awful blasphemy is got rid of, there never will be any liberal science in the world."
John F. Kennedy [original site]: He was an advocate of the Civil Rights Movement and helped up develop our space program until he was tragically assassinated in 1963. He was famous for saying, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."
John F. Kennedy [satire site]: He's a Democrat, but he was shot, so we have to like him. JFK was an advocate of the Civil Rights Movement, which right-wing folks such as this artist fought against tooth and nail 50 years earlier. But now they'll take credit for it.
And for the "some of Jesus' (and Michel Steele's) best friends are Black" portion of our portrait.
[Upper left hand corner.]
Fredrick Douglas [satire site]: A famous abolitionist and fighter for womans suffrage. He gets to stand in the very back.
Black Union Soldier [satire site]: It would be a century before Rosa Parks would commit civil disobedience by standing in the front of the painting.
American Soldier [satire site]: Represents the modern American Soldier. With "King" written on his body armor, he also fills in for Martin Luther King, Jr., because we cant have two black guys right next to each other. That'd be a mob.
"Hey! Just because we're reduced in this painting to rubbish on the ground, don't tread on us!"
[Laws on the steps.]
Marbury v. Madison (1803) [original site]: this case opened the door for judicial review of the constitution and made it possible for activist judges to become appointed and to be able to interpret the constitution.
Marbury v. Madison (1803) [satire site]: This horrible piece of paper allowed activist judges free reign to declare jsut about anything unconstitutional! Slavery, discrimination, you name it! What fools we were.
Roe v. Wade (1973) [original site]: This is one of the greatest travesties of all time and opened the door to legalizing abortions. It does nothing to protect the interests of the unborn child. There have been over 45 million abortions performed in America since 1973.
Roe v. Wade (1973) [satire site]: And thus America was RUINED FOREVER.
Boo! Hiss! Y'all Lie! Where Are Their Birth Certificates! You got it folks, hereeeee's Satan's Home Team!
[The figures to the lower right, now with more Satan looking on.]
Liberal News Reporter [original site]: Most of the media today are biased towards the left and try to shape the thinking and actions of Americans in that directions.
Liberal News Reporter [satire site]: Went into jouranlism school to change the world through investigative reporting, but instead covers 24 hours of filler every day, treading softly around the Republican Big Business owners of her station and every other station. Cries herself to sleep every night, wondering how Keith Olbermann gets away with it.
Professor [original site]: He tightly holds his "Origin of Species" book by Charles Darwin. This represents the liveral lefts [sic] control of our educational system. his smug expression describes the attitude of many of the educational elite. There is no room for God in education. There is comtempt for any other viewpoints. Humanism dominates the educational system of America and I believe that is wrong. Notice that he is the only one sitting on the top step. He tries to place himself on an equal footing with God, but he is still nothing next to the intessigence of the Creator.
Professor [satire site]: He tightly holds his "Origin of Species" book by Charles Darwin, which is a book none of these people in this image have ever read or understood. But they've heard some bad things about it on Fox News, so!
Woot! Here they Kingdom Come! Let's give a great big round of All American applesauce for them as they take the field - Jeeezeus' Triple-Amen Farm Team!
[The figures to the lower left.]
U.S. Marine [original site]: [At military funerals] the military carefully fold the flag thirteen times and the last fold which shows the stars represents, "In God We Trust." This goes all the way back to George Washington.
U.S. Marine [satire site]: He was kicked out of the military for being gay.
Immigrant [original site]: Why does he have his hand up like that? There are many good people in America, they are not all Christian. I wanted him to have a look of shock when he realizes where the source of America's greatness comes from as he sees Christ holding the constitution.
Immigrant [satire site]: Why does he have his hand up like that? As soon as these white people notice him, they're gonna f*** his ass UP. Run, dude, run.
Speaking of McNaughten (or "M'Naughten") Fine Arts....
Call for you McNaughton: It's Thomas Kinkade. He wants his kitschy style back.