A recent story in the Arkamond Press-Gazette revealed that several convicted child molesters, most notably William "Trenchcoat" Cootes, and Verne "Coldcut" Naydolly, have indisputable ties to three, highly prominent GOP frontrunners. In the interests of decorum, we won’t name names. But the evidence is quite damning.
It turns out that all three of the above referenced GOP leaders, greatly enjoy shrimp with wasabi sauce. The press Gazette has recently learned both Cootes and Naydolly list shrimp with wasabi sauce among their favorite food items. As if that is not enough, several of Cootes’ cousins, who think Cootes got a raw deal, all contributed, among hundreds of thousands of other people, to these GOP leaders' political campaigns.
So let’s be sure to write an article about this amazing tie, in a prominent and non partisan political journal, so that we can very fairly associate this creepiness with the famous political leaders.
Now let’s change the "facts" just a little bit, without naming any names.
Decades ago, a famous person committed what appears to be a pretty creepy crime with a minor. This famous person is revered for his art, and some other famous people have made some controversial remarks about the old crime.
And it turns out that not only do some of these people enjoy movies, just as a very specific famous political person does, but some of these people donated to that famous political person’s campaign.
So let’s be sure to write an article about this amazing tie, in a prominent and non partisan political journal, so that we can very fairly associate this creepiness with the famous political leader.
.....
Which one of the above scenarios is more idiotic?
Probably the first one, although it is very close.
But, apparently, not to Politico, which actually has an article this month linking President Obama to alleged child sex offender Roman Polanski, because some of those who donated to Obama’s campaign came out in Polanski’s defense.
Which brings us to our third scenario:
It also turns out that demented serial puppy murderer Jude "Three Eyes" Bingyier is linked to Politico’s editors. Last year four Hollywood actors who made light of Bingyiers despicable crimes, all sent money in for subscriptions to Politico, records show
Here is the headline and story:
PUPPY MURDERER BACKERS GAVE MONEY TO POLITICO
Compelling picture, tying Politico to the crime
(such as a cute puppy picture), goes here
.....
(In full disclosure, the first and third of the three scenarios painted in blockquotes above, of course, are fiction. The second scenario, unfortunately, including the fact that a prominent and widely cited political magazine actually ran such an article, is not.)