From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Don’t Mess with an Angry Octogenarian
Helen:
I am not sure when it happened but the base of the Republican party either got lazy or stupid or both... or maybe they always were. It took me only a few minutes of research on the internet to learn that America spends more on healthcare than any other wealthy nation and yet we don’t live longer or have better health outcomes. So unless we just enjoy making health insurance companies rich, all those tea party morons need to use the internet for something other than ordering their penis enhancement pills. [...]
What we are talking about here is access to healthcare. We are talking about mothers and fathers losing their homes and their life savings trying to save their children. We are talking about families helping a loved one to fight cancer. We are talking about people suffering with diabetes, asthma and AIDS. We are not talking about death panels and for God’s sakes we are not talking about Nazi Germany. We are talking about tending to the sick and the poor... does that sound familiar to anyone? You Value Voters out there claim to read the Bible. Maybe you should crack the cover on that one again. You are so damn worried about who is marrying who and what immigrant is getting the best shift at the Taco Bell, but God forbid someone’s suffering doesn’t come with a price tag...
Honestly, if I could, I would put the entire Republic party over my knee and give them a good spanking.
Obama needs to make room for another speechwriter.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, October 9, 2009
Note: Anyone have an instruction manual for an M4 Sherman tank? Specifically, how to get it out of reverse? Text me...NOW PLEASE!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til off-year Election Day: 25
Days `til the Wellfleet Oysterfest in Massachusetts: 8
Drop in initial claims for state unemployment benefits last week: -33,000
(Source: Reuters)
Louisiana's rank among states in terms of most food stamp recipients, despite Governor Bobby Jindal's unfettered hatred of federal assistance for anything: #1
Baggage fee revenue for U.S. Airways in the 2nd quarter of 2008: $17 million
Baggage fee revenue for U.S. Airways in the 2nd quarter of 2009: $104 million
(Source: USA Today)
Weight of Christy Harp's pumpkin: 1,689 pounds
And from the Department of Homeland Security:
Days the color-coded federal terror alert system has been in place: 2,768
Days spent at terror alert level Blue or Green: 0
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Happy Birthday, Bo---1 year old today! (...and many blessings on your camels.)
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CHEERS to wingnut whiplash. What's that little saying about he who laughs last? Gee, I forget. But this I know: today Republicans are wandering around aimlessly in stony disbelief, having learned that, while he didn’t win the Olympics last week (and does anybody really think Rio wasn't going to get it?), Barack Obama did become the first sitting United States President since Woodrow Wilson to win the Nobel Peace Prize this week. From the citation:
Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics. Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts. ...
Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future. His diplomacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world's population.
Congratulations, Mr. President and congratulations, America. And if it makes you feel any better, li'l Republicans, if the committee ever gives out a Nobel War Prize, you'll win in a walk. (You guys should start a petition...or hold a rally!)
CHEERS to realism. Oh, speaking of dialogue and negotiations (see the Nobel citation above), it says here that President Obama's plan for Afghanistan is likely to include extending a hand to the Taliban---not in friendship so much as pragmatism---as opposed to ratcheting up our unwinnable war against them. This is good:
President Barack Obama is prepared to accept some Taliban involvement in Afghanistan's political future and will determine how many more U.S. troops to send to the war based only on keeping al-Qaida at bay, a senior administration official said Thursday.
The sharpened focus by Obama's team on fighting al-Qaida above all other goals, while downgrading the emphasis on the Taliban, comes in the midst of an intensely debated administration review of the increasingly unpopular war.
And the Boston Globe confirms today what most us know already: the "forces" we're fighting in Afghanistan are killing us not because of ideological fanaticism, but because we're getting in the way of their ages-old tribal disputes over "territory, mineral wealth, and smuggling routes." (And, let's not forget: goats of mass inspection.) Let's hope this is a sign of things to come. Namely, a sign marked with the letters E, X, I, and T.
CHEERS to fabulous first ladies. Sunday is Eleanor Roosevelt's 125th birthday. Like Hillary, she didn't confine herself to picking out White House china patterns; she served as the U.S. Delegate to the United Nations, and was a staunch civil rights advocate, syndicated columnist and lecturer. Pay your respects to the ol' gal here. And bask in the knowledge that she could hogtie Michele Bachmann in a vat of Jell-O and make her squeal in 5 seconds flat.
P.S. Lovely chalkmanship, Ma'am.
P.P.S. On the dinner table tonight: Good Luck Margarine. (That voice---it's like buttah!!!!)
JEERS to phony balonies. Joe Sestak is facing Arlen Specter in the Pennsylvania primary to decide who will take on Republican Pat Toomey for a U.S. Senate seat. But Specter was a Republican himself for, like, a bazillion years. So Sestak has created a snarky new web site, with lots of damning evidence, called "The Real Arlen Specter." SPOILER ALERT! He's a fake. And, with any luck, a fake whose days as a professional weasel politician are numbered.
JEERS to the gullible gaggle. On tomorrow's date in 2002, Congress said "Okely Dokely!" by a 296-133 margin to let President Bush go to war with Iraq without actually, y'know, "declaring" war. Idiots. But there were a few notable dissenters as the stupid unfolded:
Rep. Dennis Kucinich: "It is fear which leads us to war. It is fear which leads us to believe that we must kill or be killed. Fear which leads us to attack those who have not attacked us."
Senator Robert Byrd: "This is the Tonkin Gulf resolution all over again. Let us stop, look and listen. Let us not give this president or any president unchecked power. Remember the Constitution."
Yeah! Remember the...what'itution, again?
CHEERS to whistlestopping whistleblowers. Former Cigna vice president Wendell Potter has been a real headache to the health insurance industry since he began exposing their dishonorable motives and unscrupulous tactics that squeeze more profits out of customers at the expense of providing reliable coverage (insert blood-from-turnip analogy here). Potter visited Maine this week to rally the pro-reform troops here and mock Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield---owned by Wellpoint---for suing our state because we won’t guarantee them a 3 percent profit:
He said it was a huge political mistake because it shows the company's greed and comes during a congressional crossroads. ... Potter said the legal case also illustrates the attitudes of the industry, and speculated that financial pressures overcame political strategy. "They're very unforgiving," he said of insurance companies. "If you can't make your numbers, they'll get someone who can. It's all about making the numbers ... they're willing to suffer some bad publicity, because they know that will come and go."
It's expected that Anthem & Co.'s suit will be laughed out of court, though we'll probably be charitable and spare them the tar and feathers. Meanwhile, it looks like the U.S. Senate has made its own magic number on the public option, thanks to Montana Senator Jon Tester: fifty one. Add a "1" in front of it and you'll know what I'm toasting Mr. Potter and Mr. Tester with tonight. (Warning: Even with a spritz 'o Coke in it, it's still flammable.)
CHEERS to landmark landmarks. 121 years ago today, on October. 9, 1888, the public was first allowed inside the Washington Monument. There was widespread disappointment when they realized there was no ignition switch.
CHEERS to home vegetation. An idle TV screen is such a lonely-lookin' thing. HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher gets the weekend started tonight with an eclectic lineup that includes Bill Frist (who won’t kill any cats, but may juggle some), Cornel West, Sarah Silverman, Lincoln Chafee and Richard Belzer. New DVD releases include the latest cleanup job on Snow White and the Senate Finance Committee and lots and lots of horror films both new and old. There will also be several ball-tossing sporting competitions this weekend. And now here's your Sunday talking-heads show lineup, each one accompanied by the actual biological time that will be deducted from your lifespan if you watch it:
Meet the Press: Senator Gepetto Levin and Lindsay "Levi's posing nude? Really???" Graham; Retired generals McCaffrey and Myers to urge Obama to send 100,000 more troops to Afghanistan; and a pundit roundtable that doesn’t include Rachel Maddow. Viewer lifespan deduction: 3 months
This Week: Senators Feinstein and Chambliss; Congressman Jim Martin (D-MA); another retired general to urge Obama to send 100,000 more troops on top of the troops suggested by the Meet the Press generals; George Will chastises Barack Obama for using too many conjunctions. Viewer lifespan deduction: 1.5 years
Face the Nation: Senators Mitch McConnell (R-Backyard Turtle Pond) and Jack Reed (D-RI); CIA fellator David Ignatius; discredited Iraq War hawk Michael O'Hanlon of the Brookings Institute. Viewer lifespan deduction: 10 months
The McLaughlin Group: The usual screaming heads. Viewer lifespan deduction: 6 months plus several hours of ear ringing
Bill Moyers Journal: Wall Street a year after the bailout; the latest accurate information on health care reform. Viewer lifespan deduction: 0 minutes
Fox Pity Party with Chris Wallace: No clue who's on, but I bet there's at least one retired general with troop increases on his mind! Viewer lifespan deduction: 1 hour and the agonizing death of several billion brain cells
Happy aging!
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Five years ago in C&J: October 9, 2004
JEERS to the Rule of Three. Janet Leigh. Rodney Dangerfield. And now Christopher Reeve is dead at 52. Guys lived vicariously through his feats of strength as Superman. Women swooned over his performance in `Somewhere in Time.' And we all marveled at his battle with paralysis. He gets the last word: "We must pursue research on embryonic stem cells."
JEERS to Afghan Eye for the Karzai Guy. During the first Afghanistan elections in, like, ever, all 15 opposition candidates dropped out of the race Saturday, accusing the existing government of fraud. They knew something was fishy when people started walking out of polling places with "I Voted Again" stickers on their robes. [10/9/09 Update: Five years later and, my goodness, how things have...er...not changed.]
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And just one more...
CHEERS to kicking down the closet door. Sunday marks the 21st annual celebration of National Coming Out Day, and there are plenty of reasons to be an out 'n proud member of the LGBT community these days. Like, fer instance:
>> Same-sex honest-to-god marriage was approved this year in Vermont, New Hampshire, Washington, D.C. (pending final approval), Iowa and, assuming a veto referendum goes down in flames in 25 days, Maine. Can Mississippi be far behind? (Ummmm...probably.)
>> For the first time in history, a sitting president in his first year of office will be the keynote speaker at the Human Rights Campaign's annual dinner tomorrow. (Bill Clinton didn’t speak in front of the group until his second term.) Sure, he's only made token gestures cloaked in flowery language up to this point, but Saturday night we expect him to make some sort of significant announcement---otherwise he wouldn’t put himself in the path of protest and anger like that. A little birdy tells me he's going to lay out a timeline for a repeal of 'Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.' Yes, it's true---I speak bird.
>> Sexual orientation was added to the 1968 hate crimes law by the House of Representatives yesterday, and the Senate and President Obama appear eager to make it official.
>> A few months after I came out in 1993, I drove from Michigan to D.C. to be part of the March on Washington. It was insanely amazing. This weekend throngs will gather there again for the National Equality March. And now that the teabaggers have set new rules for gauging attendance, our estimated crowd size is already certified at 1.5 million!
Despite all the progress the gay community makes every year, there's still a frustrating chicken-or-the-egg conundrum at play: GLBT people need to come out so that the straight world can see that we're literally everywhere and deserve equal rights. But first the straight world needs to stop fostering conditions that make it unsafe to come out. But first gay people need to come out. But first society needs to make it safe. But first gay people need to come out. And so it goes. But coming out they are---including courageous Kossacks like Incondite---in greater numbers and at earlier ages. And even though he's no longer with us, I think of these words anytime I hear some fuming fossil trot out the tired old "sin and depravity and destroyer of traditional marriage" nonsense in an attempt to scare us into slinking back into the shadows:
"Gay brothers and sisters, you must come out. Come out to your parents ... Come out to your relatives. Come out to your friends, if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors, to your fellow workers, to the people who work where you eat and shop. Come out only to the people you know, and who know you. Not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake."
--Harvey Milk
...and for your free toaster oven.
Have a great weekend. I'll be sharpening my snow shovel blade and pouring a pre-emptive six-inch layer of rock salt on the driveway. Well, right after I finish re-upholstering the one-horse open sleigh, of course. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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