Edit: If you do not have the stomach to read raunchy humor, then please click the back button, and no it really isn't that raunchy (since I removed the rimjob stuff), but some people with delicate sensibilities have been offended. You have been warned. Read on at your own risk.
And before you judge me read this comment in response to a Joe Lieberman comment. It has zero, I repeat zero HRs
Talk about your kosher hot dogs... (0+ / 0-)
(said a la Groucho)
As most of you know, I'm often asked to join bigwigs for breakfast and lunch. This time was more amazing. We combined the two! Imagine my surprise when I was invited, along with 600 other people, to a very special sit down with Michelle Bachmann.
Things began as expected, with me ceremonially flashing the guest of honor. Soon there after, several security guards asked me to pull my pants up (Fucking fascists, I thought this was America). With my standard unveiling of the edifice (dude that's what I call it, don't judge me) behind me, I made my way to the meet and greet. Now I know all of you are hoping I chewed her out, but I didn't. In fact, I asked her to marry me, but when she said she was already married, I backed off.
Now I know what you're thinking... Why on earth would you ask her to marry you, but I like a little bit of crazy in my life. Who the hell are you to judge?Whew... Who knew I could be so accurate in my recounting of totally factual and true events.
After our conversation Congresswoman Bachman asked me to join her at the head table. Being so awestruck in her presence I happily obliged. Then things started getting weird. 'You see,' she said in an annoying Fargoesque accent, 'an awful lot of people from the coasts just don't get middle Amerka, middle Amerka's like this (as she pushed my head between her breasts and told me to make bugabuga noises), and the coasts are like this (not to get too graphic, but yes it was her left armpit).
Needless to say, after that I was hornier than Dale Dabone on viagra, so I asked her if she'd like to come back to my hotel room and watch a movie... If you know what I'm saying.
Then she asked if I had the Passion of the Christ on DVD, and I totally lost my wood. I don't know if she likes it for the torture, or the antisemitism, but she really wished I had that fucking DVD.
Edit: Because Congressfucktard made people uncomfortable.