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Warning: This diary might contain sensitive information. Please read, memorize and destroy immediately. Please do not let it fall in the hands of the GOP or the freepers

Good afternoon soldiers. My name is The Simple "Canadian". From that name, you will never tell that I am the most powerful man who often decides the US elections.

I am the chief of staff from the ACORN high command. My job is to organize and carry out operations to steal local and national elections. Last year, was the best year we ever had. But, I was not too pleased with our performance in the 2009 gubernatorial races.

Therefore, I am looking for your input on how we can prevent NJ and VA from ever happening again.

There were arguments that it was impossible defend a corrupt, former Goldman Sachs board member in this environment. Come on guys, WE ARE ACORN. All we needed was to drive a few people to the polls. Are you guys telling me there was a shortage of homeless people in NJ and VA? Clearly, there was a break in chain of command in these two districts, and somebody has to take responsibilities.

One more thing, WE DO NOT DO PIMPING. Our job and sole job, is to steal elections. Anyone caught doing that sort of stuff will be fired immediately.

However, I have to congratulate our troops in upstate New York. You guys did a great job. Taking NY-23 was just awesome. Just think about it, this district has resisted our assault since the times of Abraham Lincoln. We finally broke the the lines. And thank you, Tony for twisting Dede Scozzafava's arm and getting her to endorse our man.

We still have a long way to go. 2010 is upon us. So far we have done a good job keeping our Gallup poll numbers above 50% for our president. I do have very bad tapes when the president of Gallup was having sex with college girls. I would release them to the media if he ever lets our numbers go under 50%. Our brothers at the dailykos too have been doing a great job keeping our president's numbers at 56% and over. I think we could do better, but anything more than 60% would look suspicious.

However, we've had problems infiltrating the Rasmussen polling firm. Do you guys know anybody there? If so, I would like to hear from you. Please send a confidential message to

Finally, I know many of you are worried about the so called Tea-Baggers. Do not. They are our hidden sleeper agents in the republican party. We understand the 2010 elections are going to be tough on our side, and so, the one way we can pull off any victory, is to use the so called Tea party patriots. You've seen their work in NY-23.

We plan to activate them on the night in November 2010. They will field few conservative candidates who will steal a few votes from the mainstream republicans. We anticipate the teabaggers to completely destroy the republican party by the end of 2011.

No, 2012 will not be the end of the world. 2012 will be the beginning our our world wide domination.

This diary will self destruct in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6...

Originally posted to The Simple Canadian on Thu Nov 19, 2009 at 03:44 PM PST.

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