Today, the job market is in turmoil. Hard-working, clean-living Americans are finding themselves out of work and on unemployment lines. Families are suffering. Life is more of a struggle then ever.
There is hope, however. Here at Halliburton/KBR we take the skills you already have and modify them to benefit us in one of the thousands of job openings we have. Plus, you can rape.
Yes, at Halliburton/KBR - located in sunny and beautiful Dubai - we have highly paid jobs available for a wide-variety of skilled workers. This is your chance to get involved in the war effort, and to be paid well for doing it. And, of course, you can rape to your heart’s delight.
At Halliburton/KBR, we have done our part to make the U.S. victoriuous in its wars with Iraq and Afghanistan, and we’re always looking for more conflicts. As a private company, we’re always looking for ways to imporove our services to the men and women in uniform. In fact, just last year, we saw a .03 percent drop in the number of troops electrocuted while taking a shower in Halliburton/KBR showers. Once again, private enterprise is showing how much more responsible it is than goivernment.
So come to Halliburton/KBR. We have a job just waiting for you. A job that will give you and your family pride and financial stability. But even more importantly, you’ll be helping to make America the greatest country on Earth.
And you can rape. More or less as much as you want. Without the worries of being jailed for it. Because, 30 white guys have come together and made it clear that rape is just fine by them. Consider that the Halliburton/KBR promise - Rape is just fine by America.
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Read these glowing endorsements from Halliburton/KBR Employees
"In the real world, my tendency to rape was truly frowned upon. Here at Halliburton, it is actally part of the job requirement. I may not be able to fix a water heater, but I sure can rape!" - Bob, Mechanical Engineer/Rapist
"Most other jobs I have held didn`t give me the team-building exercises I needed to truly thrive. At Halliburton/KBR, they have a team-first approach. Once you`ve gang-raped someone with your crew, you have a real connection." - Nick, Shower Repair/Rapist.
So head on over to Halliburton/KBR. Because we`ve got bigger fish to fry and you can`t spell "Halliburton Professional" without "Free Rape." For more information about Halliburton/KBR job openings, click here.