The HuffingtonPost had this article about the fall of retail sales in March. One of the retailers quoted in the article was Wal-Mart, that veritable bastion of corporate evil, and I don't think they meant for this hilarious quote to come off the way it did in this article:
Wal-Mart said same-store sales excluding fuel rose 1.4 percent in March, failing to meet analysts' expectations. The world's largest retailer blamed the timing of Easter for the miss and said it still expected first-quarter results would be at the high end of its guidance.
How can you blame Easter for the missing of analysts' expectations about your sales? Oh, Wal-Mart, you just invited a whole big flustercuck here, but I'm pretty sure that Christian fundamentalists will miss the fact that you blamed Easter, the day on which Jesus Christ rose from the dead, for your poor sales performance.
Jesus is sorely disappointed in you, Wal-Mart. Just look at this painting of Jesus with the saddest face ever and reflect on your corporate sins against humanity...