13 days after the Mannity offered to be waterboarded for military charities, I NOW KNOW WHY he's waited so gosh - darned long to take Keith up on his offer. I don't have 2 degrees for nothin', ya' know! :D
But first, let's have a memory refresher.
Contrary to the Mannity's words, actions, & deeds, he is truly a selfless caring soul because he's waiting to be waterboarded on MY BIRTHDAY! Happy birthday to me, indeed! Ain't he just the sweetest?! So, mark your calendars - Mannity waterboarding exactly 3 weeks from tomorrow.
I know today is Cinco de Mayo. Vittles will be served in a bit, but there is just one other "this day in history" that I'll mention. Carnegie Hall (then named Music Hall) opened in New York City on this date in 1891, which begs a paraphrasing of the old joke "How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Lots & LOTS of practice." HA!
Let's Countdown & "eat!"
...or for the non - beer types among us...
..and a little "mood music"...
If anyone is offended, I'm sorry, but I think it's damn funny! How could a girl say "no" after being serenaded like this?! ;D
#5 "Boss Limbaugh" AKA "Grand Old Pooh – Bah" AKA "Tea – Party Pooper" - Keith, I’m really happy you’re back, but you showed the bile – inducing bouncing Boss Limbaugh again; we’ve had all we can stands, and we can’t stands no more! OK, I KNOW now without a doubt this picture is in EIB’s studio, the "Boss’" house, the "Boss’" terlet, the "Boss’" library, etc.; I promise to make up for this image later! ;D
Boss Limbaugh trashed the gathering at the Arlington, VA pizza parlor by saying they didn’t invite her & despised her. Dear, she never f*ckin’ replied! She was probably out shooting something with her pretty new gun. Boss Limbaugh, LOTS of people despise Grandma Gov. TurkeyLover, & she IS an embarrassment to the entire human race. NOW, she’s going to join this new rag – tag little GOP bunch because Boss Limbaugh said they had to invite her. OK, is it just me, or is this scenario reminiscent of some grade schoolers or junior high schooler clique saying, "I’m not going if s(he)’s not going!" or "I’m not going if s(he)’s going!" Good grief... RICHARD WOLFFE – hubba, hubba, & HUBBA! The guy who originally came up with the whole tea – bagging protest scenario (hee...hee...hee), Eric Odom, is NOT HAPPY with the tea – bagging so far [insert your adolescent juvenile joke here].
I find the tea party effort in a very disconcerting position at the moment.
[insert yet another adolescent juvenile joke here]. Damn, this is fun! Mr. Odom thinks tea – bagging needs to go more local [insert a third adolescent juvenile joke here]. So, what will tea bagging look like on the 4th of July?!
#4 "Tortured Policies" AKA "Watered – Down Waterboarding" AKA "Soft on War Crime" - The current DOJ has finished their double – secret report on how the GWB DOJ rewrote 100 years of torture law. And, former GWB officials are already trying to rewrite the rewrite. Huh?! How can they rewrite a secret rewrite??!! Can I throw another tea bagging joke here? No? DAMN! The report allegedly recommends no criminal prosecutions for those responsible. Great... Wow, the Washington Post actually used the phrase "water down" in its report. OOPS! Baybee, Yoo, & Bradbury had until yesterday to respond to the double – secret DOJ report. Gee, I can’t imagine what they’ll say; their response will be eerily similar to their lovely memos, I’m sure. Allegedly, disciplinary action was recommended against Baybee & Yoo. Would that include disbarment & impeachment for Baybee since he’s a damn judge now?! Whole bunches of other people have deadlines, too. There’s Jonathan Turley! Can Professor Turley be the Special Prosecutor for the torture investigations? I know I’ve asked this before, but I’ll keep asking. Former GWB DOJ officials apparently investigated themselves. Okee – dokee...by that logic, I’m going to rob a bank tomorrow, put myself on trial, & declare myself innocent & cute as a bug’s ear! Keith keeps mentioning Judgment at Nuremberg. It’s been years since I’ve seen that movie, but here’s the speech Keith was talking about.
** The trophy...the trophy...the trophy’s on fire! President Obama & VP Biden had BAD burger cravings today. And, how ‘bout President Obama’s response insisting on paying for said burgers?! HA! A dude in PA vandalized places he robbed with spray paint & chocolate pudding. Bill Cosby ain’t gonna be happy about that! David Bossie says "...the left has a stranglehold over both Hollywood and the mainstream media..." Dude, that argument is pre – 9/11 thinking. A softball coach actually followed rules, nullified a late – inning homerun, but won in extra innings. **
#3 "The Audacity of Nope" AKA "Holding Court" - The GOP can’t figure out if they need a "litmus test" to potential Obama SCOTUS nominees or not. OK, specifically, Sen. Orrin Hatch can’t figure it out. He must’ve gotten chewed out by Boss Limbaugh. Sen. Mitch McConnell said likewise. Gadzooks, these people are really morans, ain’t they! TurdBlossom claimed that President Obama has only increased the intense partisan divide that’s grown in DC over the past 16 years or so, but TurdBlossom had not a damn thing to do with said partisan divide. Since when is the GOP concerned about "Constitutional prerogatives"?! I haven’t seen much evidence of that. Have y’all?! Hey! Why not have Bo Obama on the court?! He can hump the legs of Thomas & Scalia & pee on them just for good measure!
WPITW – President Obama made the list for not knowing Cinco de Mayo? O...K... Sure, he looked like a bit of a goober but damn! "Bat$hit" Bachmann is talking dirty to her constituents. OK, you MN citizens in her district! She’s corrupting your youth! Vote her out so she can go work for a phone sex line. And, we gotta have the logo. Should this logo be updated in light of her recent naughty talk? Can someone with Photoshop experience give the bat a boner? Mucho appreciado!
Laura Ingram didn’t like Michael Musto’s segment about Miss California on Countdown last week. Laura, didn’t you trash Senator McCentury’s daughter about her weight?
#1 "Conservative Family Values" AKA "No Values Added" - Faux Joe T. Faux Plumber is afraid he’ll get the gay on him if homosexual couples are allowed to marry. Do I have a willing homosexual to "recruit" one of Faux Joe’s kids? That is what homosexuals do since they can’t procreate, right – recruit? Oh, and "queer" isn’t a slur because it’s in the dictionary. Well, dear, so is "f*ck," "a$$," "@unt," "douche," and a bunch of other lovely words. Some "suggestive" pictures have surfaced of the pure virtuous virgin Miss California. She knows the word "surreptitiously"? Damn, I am impressed! ;D Miss Carrie Prejean, you are intolerant & offensive, too. Pot meet kettle! Um Keith, honey, do you think the pictures of Vanessa Williams that surfaced that made her lose her Miss America crown were "out of bounds," too? As far as I’m concerned, Miss California is fair game because she has deemed herself worthy to sit in judgment on a whole mess load of people. Didn’t some guy a couple thousand years ago say, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone?" Sorry Keith, I don’t agree with you here. And, yes, I’m being judgmental about Miss California, too. I admit it, but I’m not using a national platform or any other platform for that matter to tell people how to live & run their lives. Way to go, Professor Melissa Harris - Lacewell!
The heartland is going to lead us to equality!
Coming from "the heartland," THANKS! I feel a little better about living where I live now! ;D