My President and my best hope ever for a lot of things, Barack Obama, just uttered his first "presidential" words about marriage equality at the White House Correspondents Dinner. And it was a joke.
Literally, a joke...about his close relationship with David Axelrod, with a punch line of "let's go to Iowa and make it official" or somesuch.
Stunning. Brightest man in the WH since...well...Bill Clinton, and he knows the details of the impact of marriage equality. Way too bright and informed and advised for him NOT to know. But, the first time he talks about it is in reading lines written by a humorist/speechwriter, and it's all a joke to him and the swooning audience in D.C. They all seemed to get the joke just fine. Not me.
Marriage equality and equality at EVERY fucking level is not a joke to those of us living with not just scorn from a now-dwindling majority of Americans, but actual, real-life, second-class citizenship. Not a joke if you've ever looked at your life love, "partner", and wondered why you don't qualify as equal -- why two people loving each other for years and years and years (38 now in my case), why that wouldn't, in itself, be enough to qualify you for first-class citizenship. Not a joke if you've looked at that same loved one and wondered how you'd be treated if "straight society" knew who you really were and who you really loved. Not a joke if you and that Loved One ever tried to get a joint mortgage and live your nest dream. Not a joke if you've had to write wills as legal contracts to avoid your Loved One being jerked around by the greedy straight relatives when you're gone. Not a joke when one of the two is hospitalized and the first thing you look for is not the insurance papers, but the power-of-attorney you had written to stave off any possible bigoted medical personnel. Not a joke if you've tried to live the family dream and adopt. Not a joke if you've looked ahead and wondered what will happen to Loved One if you're the first to go -- will the legal contracts hold up? How much will Loved One give up in inheritance tax because he/she is not recognized by the State as an actual deserving Survivor -- plus -- how much of all that Social Security money you've paid your entire working life will go NOT to YOUR loved one, but into a common fund to be enjoyed by Straight Widows/Widowers -- those fine folks up front in First Class.
And, of all people, this bright, polished, historic, and in most-ways-wonderful politician should recognize how to first address something at the very core of a large chunk of his base. And locker-room humor is NOT the way to do that.
I'll continue to support President Obama despite this one poor ass joke -- because there is no doubt in my mind that he represents the best hope not just for me and mine, but for all of us -- Gay and Straight. But, after tonight, he's a bit less of an inspiration and more like just another straight guy enjoying applause and a bit of fun at the expense of the Queers.