Like many, I found the opinion pushed by President Obama's Department of Justice re: DOMA to be a crock of shit sad and unacceptable. No matter how you slice it, this opinion was unnecessary and hurtful. The President should have refused to defend the policy, or he could have avoided the patently homophobic, Rush-style attacks - arguing the case on standing. Instead, he threw the right-wing kitchen sink at us. Today's bone announcement, that there would be federal partnership benefits for federal employees (except, of course, our gay military American heroes), is even worse -- not only will it expire after this administration, it won't even include health benefits.
But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk about a horrendous phenomenon on Daily Kos: apologia. Whether it was Rick Warren, Obama's refusal to keep his campaign promise on DADT, or now this bizarre, right-wing defense of DOMA... there's a huge group of apologists on this community. Why are so many willing to throw glbt people under the bus in defense of the President?
The apologists found in, first LarThorward's diary, and today, Muskegon Critic's diary, are particularly stunning. I'm not going to call anyone out, or use examples -- I want this to diary to be a source of dialogue, to get at the heart of why some people who say they support gay rights seem willing to forgive anything the President does that sets the gay cause back. Those aren't the actions of a supporter -- those are the actions of an accomplice.
These are, unfortunately, uncomfortable truths. I don't bring them to light as a means to cause pain or anger, I say them so people can realize the results of their actions. This is my life we're talking about. This is the lives of at least 30 million Americans. We're not one issue voters -- but please don't blame us for getting particularly stirred up by the fact that, in most states, we can be fired for being gay. Or that, in almost every state, we can't get married -- and in the 5 or 6 states that we can, we don't even get equal benefits.
By supporting staying silent on the President's actions that set the cause back, you are saying to the President that it's okay to continue to allow gay people to be fired. You're allowing him to continue to prevent gay people from receiving federal benefits, even if they're married. It may not feel like that, but those are the consequences of allowing the President to promote people like Rick Warren, or continue to deny justice to our gay American heroes fighting in Iraq, being discharged at home, whilst the President could end that despicable policy with an hour and his pen.
Anyone who tells us to wait, or forgives those who set back our cause, are not truly supporters. Allies don't do that. I say this not because I want fewer supporters, but because I hope people can become better, stronger supporters if they realize the results of their actions when they continue to make up excuses for what the President's done, instead of calling him on it.
I'm not trying to call people out. I'm not trying to make people feel bad. I'm trying to start a positive dialogue. Every time President Obama does something re: gay people, thus far, it's always been something offensive to us. Every single time, there's always a large contingent of people making excuses for him in this community. At some point, the excuses wear thin.
It's difficult for me to reign my frustration in. I wish people could walk a day in my shoes, maybe they'd feel differently. Maybe, then, they would be able to admit Obama's DoJ opinion went too far. Unfortunately, I need the shoes I've got on. The best I can do is write about my frustration and ask people who claim to be allies of my community to please show more support - to tell this President to stop treating gay people like pariahs and to start to give us the dignity we deserve, doing everything within his power, including the use of executive orders.