Okay Gregory, I've decided to help you. Not because I like you but because I don't. My husband still tapes Meet the Press every Sunday. I don't know why, but somehow he never gives up hope that Tim will be there.
But what you are doing is just too over the top. First of all you are not a girl. When any republican comes on you lower your head, raise your eyes and bat your eyelashes. Stop that, you are not Princess Diana. And then you preen and coo throughout the show like a peacock. You are not a bird either and it just looks unbearable. Plus it is plain that you are trying to show how much Republicans love you (and how you idolize them) and I can give you an easier, and less prissy way of going about it.
This works really, really well. If you'd do some homework you'd have seen it somewhere. But, like I said, I'll help you so here goes:
This is an oldie but a goodie. When you have both Republicans and Democrats on the show start off like this: Turn to a Republican and say something like " Vice President Cheney, Lynn made the best meatloaf I have ever tasted last night". And " I can't wait for our week in the country together. We won't be hunting though, right"?
See how nicely that works? It establishes that you are close to the republican, in fact it's much more proof than a coy little smile (an extra bonus it that it establishes you don't want to be target practice).
Now, what you normally do next is turn to the Democrat and you become like a rabid dog. Too much change too fast. If you're going to keep up front that says "I'm very upper crust. You can't change that fast. It has that "he could have more than 20 personalities about it". Plus I saw poor David Axelrod's face when he came in last Sunday and he looked miserable. No one enjoys being yelled at for ah hour. He knows that no matter what he says you will fight him until he gives in. He knows he's going to be in an argument for an hour, and he can't come close to making a point if he never gets to finish a sentence. it's also giving the audience white knuckle stress, hoping you won't stand up and slap him. And just quietly argue the Republican side. They get it. There's no need to yell. By the time it's over I need an aspirin and I want to give Axelrod one so bad. Can I mail you some? It's only being kind and you can pass it under the table.
I know he can't turn you down because you'd "say the White House was uncooperative" but must you argue? Can't you just ask questions and maybe follow up with a tough question? Do you really feel you must argue the republican side? Then you put up 20 quotes from the Wall Street Journal. At least quote Rush sometimes for the sake of variety. it makes it look so unfair when you can put up 20 or 30 examples of what the Wall Street Journal thinks. I always expect you to say "so there" at the end of the quote from the Journal. Honestly, you are supposed to be a news show, and I know the Journal is the closest thing you have to news from Ailes but you have to try. There is a man... I think his name is Frank Luntz, he'll give you some good stuff to put up and you'll impress the Republicans like 10 times more.
Plus one great thing: You know how they are always doing the "Where were they today in 2006" clips on other shows. You can do one of those each Sunday and I would start off with the video of you dancing with Karl Rove. You just can't use that too often if you are trying to cement the close ties to the party. And what was that dance... the hokey pokey? I loved it and I thought it was sweet of you to do something Rove would remember. With this technique you can show one day every week out of what you were doing during the Bush administration. They'll think you WERE a top level advisor at the minimum. Heck they'll feel sorry you got stuck with this show after working with a President. That could work in your favor... like being the underdog.
Oh my God... I just had the best idea!!!! In about a year, you have to have Karl Rove on for the whole show. You and he can stand up on the desk and dance!!! You could practice all kinds of steps, the shuffle... you could get top hats and canes!!!
Finally, you know how you had on two republicans at the same time, no Democrats, after Axelrod. (I guess to balance out Axelrod but sometimes you do it when you've had one of each). When you have just republicans let them chat amongst themselves. It's always so much fun to hear them repeat exactly the same thing... first Republican "Obama's stimulus was a failure" and second Republican "You know what has failed, the Obama stimulus... are we calling it the Obama-Bush stimulus yet?". First Republican "Do you know that insurance for people with preexisting conditions, is by definition, socialist"? Second Republican "I think that it's socialist to have children on healthcare, I think it is horrible to make a child a socialist before they have had a chance to decide for themselves". (Plus this is a good idea because, by then, with only Axelrod, you've been yelling almost half hour straight and you do make your living with your voice.)
Finally, no need to have a four person panel at the end, especially when it's only a few minutes. I never know who the Democrats are so you could be bringing in anyone and calling them a Democrat. Although it does help make your point when you ask them a question any Democrat could answer and they don't quite get it. So, I guess that is pretty effective. You could have them wear a name tag "Democrat" so when we don't know who they are we at least know that they are playing the Democrats.
Oh yeah! Boy can you get Paiin!!! You can probably get her at least one segment a week and when you're out of town she can do the whole show. Actually, I think she is the best ( next to you) of arguing both sides of the republicans point of view. Well, ok, articulating one side as if it's two, but she's GOOD! And she probably has free time but she may not. She may have started working harder in their church who wants President Obama to fail. You need to get her away from that. But see if they still have those republican clothes that they bought her. Some of her clothes as governor are not the best.
I know the republicans love you. Deep in your heart you know they love you. Now the show just has to demonstrate how much. I think you can do it! More to come... I promise!
I wanted to get this out in time for next week's show. Darn it. Just because I can't stand to watch doesn't really mean I can't give a few pointers. I'll watch today and let you know! Bye Bye!