Friends around the New Year's Eve dinner table shrugged when I asked about New Year's resolutions. They didn't care to ask me, either. Is it supposed to be a "don't ask/don't tell" sort of thing?
The most common response to my question about New Year's resolutions is a shrug, and the next most common is to mumble something about not bothering because they "don't work". Hmmph. Well. Maybe we didn't need change as much before. Maybe you've learned something between then and now that will be the key to making that change. And, hey, no maybe about it, time has passed, and you aren't guaranteed more years and more chances. Now's the time.
Crossposted at womannequin.com
Truly, January 1 just doesn't feel much like a beginning of much of anything. Okay, maybe it's the beginning of a new tax year. After the over-indulgence of Christmas, it's time to clean out the left-overs and get back to work.
The celestial year starts with the beginning of Aries which is the moment of vernal equinox (about March 21), and with the warming, sprouting, birthing and blossoming that happens in the northern hemisphere, it would seem the more inspiring time for resolutions and fresh starts.
The set-up of our current calendar (the Gegorian calendar) has been around for less than half a milennium,and some people campaign for alternatives:
Creating a calendar is like fitting a lot of round pegs into not quite as many square holes. Western tradition demands a seven-day week. Ancient custom, rooted in moon cycles, calls for a 12-month year. The Earth's tilted axis produces four seasons. But the Earth, uncooperatively, takes 365 days, plus a tad more, to go once around the sun, and 365 is divisible by none of seven, 12 or four. And thanks to the extra bit of time -- about one-fourth of a day -- required for a complete orbit, leap years are needed to keep things on track.
But people are very fussy about change, even while admitting the oddities of the current system. What with all the hysteria over Y2K, imagine how it would keep low-wattage media organizations (yes, that's a comment on their competency, not their electrical bill) atwitter for months. One or the other, it's likely my rent will be due with alarming regularity. Personally, it seems like most folks are oblivious to some of the "features" of the calendar we've got.
You see, while we're adjusting to the need to cut back on the calories after the December holidays, the first day of January is not just the final send-off of that amorphous season of "the holidays". It's about the arrival of January. January? Yes, the Latin "Januarius mensis" means "the month of Janus". Janus? Yes, Janus, of Roman mythology; the god of gates, doors, doorways, beginnings and endings.
It's not just the tight jeans that are reminding you to reassess, it's the wisdom of the ancients embedded in that bold face heading on your calendar: JANUARY. Time to take a closer look at where you've been and where you're going. Time to ask some questions. What have I been doing? Where am I? What's important? What must I change?
All that campaigining not so long ago on CHANGE? Change we can believe in? Ahh. That must have been imagined as someone else's change. Ooops. A year after the inauguration, it's time to, ummm, move on. That's not quite the same as "carrying on". The same old game won't do. It won't work to simply play it better. Sorry for the rude news, but the rules in the game of life can (and do) change in the middle of the game.
Lose weight, quit smoking and exercise regularly--these are America's top three New Year's resolutions, accounting for nearly three-fourths of the goals adults undertake Jan. 1, according to University of Scranton psychology professor John Norcross, PhD. "However, 'Get along with my mother-in-law' comes up more often than you would expect," he muses.
Even if your past resolutions have fallen by the wayside, try again: "studies suggest that by making a resolution you are 10 times more likely to succeed in your goal."
Personally, I tend to favor less conventional resolutions, and confess to repeating a few favorite ones. About a decade ago, my resolution was simply, "Eat More Beans". I liked the surprised look on faces when I explained that one, and it gave me plenty of chances to extol the nutritional values of legumes, as well. The tradition of eating black-eyed peas for luck on New Year's day (where did that come from, anyway?) worked well with that, and that morphed into a tradition of making black-eyed pea enchiladas on New Year's Day. So tailor your resolution to your own life and priorities. Make it more specific rather than less so, and have fun with it.
It's suspect to have a resolution that provides a rationale for spending more money, but last week I did buy some new workout clothes. I took a friend along to the store, so it's a public committment. I made some significant (and successful!) health & fitness resolutions last year, so this is phase two. Whether you feel a previous year's resolutions "didn't work" or did, "re-resolving" is allowed. Consider it another chance, another phase.
In the spirit of thoroughness, I tend to think one is not enough. So a group of resolutions that will cover "body, mind and spirit" sounds good to me. Ultimately, those resolutions mean changing the way I use some of my 24 hours in a day. Time is, of course, the very most precious thing. Simply acknowledging that there's a slice of time that must be devoted to nurturing and restoring the body, the mind and the spirit is a first step. Whether it's 15 minutes of meditation, walking the 3 blocks to a farther bus stop, or setting aside time to have a cup of coffee with a friend, resolve to make a change in 2010 that will make you live better and longer.
As friends gathered around the dinner table New Year's Eve, we learned of a dear friend and brother's tragic death. You've seen the media tributes to the famous who have passed in 2009, too. We must resolve to take their light and lives forward. The movie scene of NY's confetti and hoopla seems like the last moment of denial before Janus calls us to the hard work of assessing the past, looking at the road ahead, and resolving to change.
I raise my January 1 coffee cup to yours and wish you the very best in your re[s]olutionary endeavors in 2010! What is your resolution this time around?