I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore
I'm a disgruntled progressive voter. Mr. Obama has not been everything I dreamed of when I waited in line at the polls relishing the upcoming vote in November, 2008. He's had a 60 seat majority in the Senate! He's had a big majority in the House of Representatives! He came in with an amazing wave of voter sentiment for change and a positive approval rating that would surely push his agenda through!
But, I'm mad that he hasn't set Eric Holder loose on those torturing neo-cons. Surely, Scott Brown will lead a Republican wave of responsibility and respect for the Constitution to restore America's respect worldwide!
I'm mad that Obama and the spineless Democrats haven't passed a healthcare reform bill with a strong public option! I mean, come on, many of the most crucial reforms don't even take effect until 2013 or later! I'm going to send the Democrats a message that, if I can't get what I want and get it NOW, then I'm going to stick it out with my daughter's preexisting condition until 2016 or later, when we can get a real progressive in office! I'm sure the Republicans aren't really as callous as they appear. After all, they proposed several health care plans of their own but the Democrats didn't listen. I think I heard this on Fox News, I mean MSNBC, but does it really matter?
I'm mad that all these bankers are walking away with my hard earned tax dollars. Obama is in the back pocket of Wall Street anyway, right? Tim Geithner, Larry Summers.. come on! Joe Lieberman knows the value of a dollar and is surely a solid vote for the good people of Connecticut. Scott Brown will show us how to be a good fiscal conservative while still putting people first --- just like Fred Thompson, John Boehner, and the other guys that barely had six or eight.. or whatever it was.. years to get our fiscal house in order!
Ok, maybe the healthcare plan is actually deficit reducing.. but all those unemployment benefits and spending on the schools in the stimulus plan did nothing but raise the deficit! And we didn't even keep unemployment under 10% like he promised! At least the Republicans are honest about sending our jobs overseas and keeping the minimum wage low so that we can maximize job growth.
Afghanistan! Damn it all to hell! I thought I was voting for peace, to bring our troops home! Yes, there was a point when Obama was babbling on during the debates about strengthening our resolve in Afghanistan against the Taliban and Osama bin Laden. But I was transfixed by John McCain wandering about the stage muttering, and I probably missed the point! At least we knew when the troops in Iraq were coming home! Oh, you say that there was no withdrawal date before Obama took office? Yeah, sure.
Gitmo! Don't get me started. He said it would be closed back in January. That's nearly a year ago! That's almost one ninth of the total time it's been open!
Why can't gays marry yet? Let's leave it up to the states then because the federal government is moving way too slow on this issue.
Finally, where Obama really lost me is that he hasn't been a good leader. It seems like people around the world don't really understand the difference between his policies and the former administration's. Yeah, there was this Peace Prize thing, but, I swear, those Europeans are kind of nutty sometimes, and, besides, I didn't hear Obama turning our foreign policy immediately on its head like I wanted.
Elect Scott Brown! That will fix 'em. Believe me, people will really stand up and be strong for the Progressive agenda then, you betcha!
I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this moderate damned Democrat anymore!
Update
Perhaps I should have known that the initial response to this would be a complaint that I'm attacking the wrong people. That wasn't my intention, but I've heard enough people calling in to talk shows that have exactly the view I am parodying above that I don't think my energy is 'misdirected' at all. Sure, the ultimately real problem is that people actually listen to people like Sarah Palin, and that the health care plan should be stronger, and that Rush Limbaugh is a ..
But, to me, that misses the point. If we bring down Obama right now, in January, 2010, because we aren't fired up enough to GOTV, or we even have a percent or two leaning to Scott Brown as a protest against Rahm Emanuel (or whatever it's about), we lose.. that's my perspective and I'm sticking to it.
Kudos to those people already fighting for Coakley, even if we could have a better candidate.