He abandoned me.
We have been calling on him since before he even won the election to stick to his promises. To stick to his rhetoric, which we naively assumed he actually meant at the time.
We have said over and over again that bending over backwards to please the jackals in the GOP will do no good. It will not move his agenda forward, it will not result in that mythical "bipartisanship" any more than throwing a horse in the narwhal tank will result in a unicorn.
We begged and pleaded for him to do govern like the progressive that America thought it elected.
We asked him to be the leader that the Democratic Party so desperately needs. To speak with the conviction we saw during the election.
I convinced people who would never have voted for Obama on their own to do so. I convinced people who will never turn on MSNBC, who will never read DailyKos, who would never call themselves liberals to vote Democratic in 2008. To support Obama. I put my money, my effort and my heart into 2008. We all did. And I know Obama gave more than any of us. I know he worked harder at getting elected than I will at anything in my life.
But now I'm left with only one thought; for this? We and he worked so hard so that a year into his presidency DADT and DOMA still rule the day? We worked so hard so that he could let the early 2009 window for real banking reform pass right by? We worked so hard so that he could cave left and right to ridiculous GOP talking points like death panels and terrorists roaming our streets?
I don't believe it.
I don't know what the hell has happened in Washington over the past year. I don't know the answers to why we have no real leadership, why the Democratic Party has accomplished nothing with the huge majority we gave them. With the mandate they had. With the momentum they had.
They have squandered it all.
I have not abandoned Obama and the Democratic Party. They have abandoned me. You knew that line was coming.
I will still vote Democratic because it's better than the alternative. But my enthusiasm is gone. They can earn it back but they must earn it. So far they have done nothing to do so. Some of the failures are probably irreversible.
There won't be another window for banking regulation like there was in early 2009. Not until the next big crisis. Which is guaranteed to be even bigger and worse due to the lack of action.
The GOP has only been able to come back so strong so quickly because the Democratic Congress of 2009 was such a colossal failure. And Obama was far too timid in his leadership.
I hope Brown winning was a wakeup call but at this point I really doubt it. We all know there's not much time left before too much of Congress goes into re-election mode to get anything done. 2009 was the year to get things done. Squandered.
In my mind there's only two reasons for 2009 going the way it did. Choice number one is that Obama and the Democratic Congress are incompetent. They can't tell their heads from their asses enough to move their agenda forward. I am not sure I buy that.
Option two is that they have been so corrupted by the culture of lobbyists and big money interests in Washington that they didn't want to get stuff done. That they are fine with how 2009 went. I know I don't want to believe that.
But what choice do I have left?
Here's hoping 2010 is better, but I'm not going to hold my breath.